ME: You do not need to bring your bottles to the pharmacy to have them refilled. Back in the day, there may have been a time where we reused/refilled bottles. Not impractical and helpful phor some patients.
MICE ELF: Now, it is not only phrowned upon, but downright illegal (in most states, anyway).
CP: With that in mind, you do not need to bring your bottles to the pharmacy phor rephills. You can use the phone.
ME: Or the internet.
MICE ELF: Or the app.
CP: Essentially, there are myriad ways to give us your refill without bringing in your bottle.
ME: It's nasty.
MICE ELF: And, more importantly, we can have your medication ready phor you before you arrive at the pharmacy to hand us your bottle.
CP: It's great that you're going to shop in my store. Save time. Call it in ahead of time. That way you only have to come to my counter once. Phaster phor us both.
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CP: It's great the you use a daily/weekly/monthly medication planner.
ME: We applaud your efforts at staying organised.
MICE ELF: We wish others would do the same.
CP: When you phill the planner phrom your bottles, and the bottles are now empty, this is not the time to call in phor a refill.
ME: I say nay nay.
MICE ELF: Simply moving medications, relocating them phrom one vessel in your kitchen to another vessel in your kitchen does not mean you are out of said medications.
CP: The same can be said when you bring home the flour and sugar and empty them into your large containers on the counter. You do not manifest a morose look on your phace whilst glaring at the empty bags phrom whence your staples came, then immediately return to the store seeking replenishment.
ME: Simply stated, just because your pill box is philled does not mean you are OUT of medication and need the refill.
MICE ELF: Look over there!
ME: Where?!
MICE ELF: There's a lady that I used to know.
CP: Haha. Got you. It's still right here.
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ME: What's one of your favourite TikTok videos?
MICE ELF: I don't watch any videos on TikTok.
CP: I like the ones that have "words you learned in books, but never heard pronounced".
ME: Nice.
MICE ELF: Yeah. You would.
CP: But it has relevance to us at work as well.
ME: We have to call this Dr. Zoffis. How do you pronounce their name?
MICE ELF: <shrugs> I always guess wrong.
CP: I'm usually close.
ME: What about when we call patients?
MICE ELF: Especially new patients phor whom we've never philled but, since we have their Adderall and Amoxicillin in stock, they are coming to us.
CP: The corollary to this is patients who always spell their names to us. While I understand Koch can be pronounced several different ways, if you always spell it, I will never know how to pronounce it.
ME: Same with difficult names.
MICE ELF: Imagine if Mike Krzykewski only ever spelled his name at the pharmacy.
CP: Or Hermione Granger.
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ME: We talk.
MICE ELF: Like girls talk.
CP: They talk a lot. My head hurts all day phrom all the drivel.
ME: When you call and one of us answers your question or meets your needs, we discuss it with the others here so each of us will know should we be the one to deal with you later.
MICE ELF: Not all of us work all hours of the day.
CP: Which means if you are a troublemaker, or you are known to be one of our Twat Wallets, we will talk about you.
ME: Just in case you're thinking of lying to another of us to get what the phirst person denied you.
MICE ELF: Or you're expecting a different answer vis-a-vis "mom said 'no', so ask dad".
CP: And if you lie, you will be caught.
UT: Like that one TW.
CP: How'd you get in here?
UT: Work spouse. Get used to it.
ME: It's getting crowded CP.
MICE ELF: How'd that go, UT?
TW: I need a refill.
UT: Ok. We will get that ready phor you.
TW: Thanks.
UT: Then, minutes later, her phriend comes down to pick it up.
ME: I'm guessing it wasn't ready.
UT: No. So I asked why she was here already and the phriend tells me she told her that I said "10 minutes".
MICE ELF: We never say 10 minutes.
CP: It gets better.
UT: So she shows me the text message her phriend sent: "They said it would be ready in 10 minutes". I'M 'THEY'! I am the they with whom she spoke and I never said 10 minutes.
CP: It's not us, it's you.
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CP: <whispers> your refill is not my responsibility.
ME: Whoa. So aggressive.
MICE ELF: Such a stunning, profound statement. I infer your tone as an attack!
CP: Just because you believe I am speaking about you, and thereby were somehow triggered, does not mean the information was not a fact.
ME: Why is this our PSA #5?
MICE ELF: Other than to inflame?
CP: Some Prescribers require pharmacies to request refills for their patients.
Some prescribers refuse to accept refills requested by pharmacies.
The local hospitals and, more directly, the associated providers linked to them in my county are evenly split.
I can and will send a refill request on your behalf.
If your Dr. Zoffis accepts them, hooray! They may respond. (They also may not.)
If your Dr. Zoffis does not accept them, they will ignore them or possibly write a nasty retort and fax back to me.
ME: And if they DO accept requests from us, I can in no way guarantee they will reply now, soon, eventually, down-the-road, or inevitably.
MICE ELF: I encourage you, the patient, to follow up with the office as well.
If your Dr. Zoffis DOES accept my requests, then a second reminder, on your part, is not a bad idea.
If your Dr. Zoffis does NOT accept my requests, then a second reminder, on your part, is warranted.
CP: Essentially, it would always behoove you to call as well.
ME: At all times.
MICE ELF: In all cases.
CP: Remember, the amount I care about your prescription is directly proportional to the amount you care about your prescription.
ME: It is impossible for your pharmacist to remember/know which Dr. Zoffis may or may not require/ignore refill requests from pharmacies.
MICE ELF: Never mind if they are not local.
CP: When you enter your refill # on the phone/app, the refill is auto-generated. Your pharmacy is not personally sending requests manually.
ME: Note to Dr. Zoffis: I cannot stop patients from entering refill numbers on my phone, at all, especially when we are closed. I'm not sending them to you, they are.
MICE ELF: If you see multiple providers at multiple offices, multiple policies may be in place. If you can't keep them straight for yourself, then can you really expect the pharmacies to do so for their thousands of patients?
CP: Remember kids, it's your prescription.
ME: The word of the day is "Personal Responsibility".
MICE ELF: You. You are the person responsible. I am A person, not THE person.
CP: People are people so why should it be. . .
ME: You expect me to accept your responsibility?
MICE ELF: Your problems should be blamed on me?
CP: You and I should get along so awfully.
This is a public service announcement. This is only a test.
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