No Explanation Needed

UT: You know, it's one thing for one person to tell me something; it's quite another to hear another person use the same argument a week later. 

CP: Inanity is everywhere. 

UT: Then I have two stories for you. 

CP: I'll let you take the reins on today's post then. 

1. 

UT: Welcome to CP's Pill Palace. Picking up?

Dame Against Fingers Touching: Yes. 

UT: Ok. I have one prescription for you. I just need you to sign on the screen there. 

DAFT: <searches for pen, pulling on cable> 

UT: <Points at bright orange sign>

DAFT: What? I have to use my finger?

UT: Just the tip. 

DAFT: <missing the joke> I do?

UT: Yes. This is not new. We've been using this device for 9 months now. 

DAFT: I have to touch it!?

UT: Um. You do realise you are pushing a shopping cart, with bare hands. And you touched my counter when you first approached. I don't see the difference. 

DAFT: "I don't have to explain myself to you."

UT: No. But you may want to have that conversation with yourself later. 

DAFT: <harrumphs>

CP: Good one. The only thing missing was the mask below the nose or her pulling it down to give you her DOB. 

UT: Always a classic. 

CP: Moving on. 

2. 

UT: Welcome to CP's Pessary Playhouse. How may I help you?

Not Unusual, Might Be: I'm picking up my patches today. 

UT: I see they are ready. 

NUMB: Are they in a box? I don't want them in a bag again. I'll sue you if they are. 

UT: Ah yes, the Lidocaine. Well, we have multiple manufacturers thanks to some supply issues and, since not every provider prescribes a full box per fill, we have odd amounts. In order to fulfill your refill, we have to combine to assemble a full 30. The only way to do this is by placing them in a plastic bag; though we could just label each patch and put them in a paper sack for you. 

NUMB: It's not sanitary. 

UT: The patches are individually sealed in their own packaging. What does it matter if they are in a box or bag? 

NUMB: "I don't have to explain myself to you."

UT: Well you should explain it to someone, perhaps your own self. 

CP: I love how "I don't have to explain myself to you" has become a way of effectively ending a conversation when a person knows they are wrong. 

UT: Where's your proof, your evidence? "I don't have to explain myself to you". 

CP: If I believe it then it's true. Your truth will make me rethink everything and mama said I can believe whatever I want. "My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush."

UT: You hated The Waterboy. 

CP: I did, but after this long in retail, I see more Bobby Bouchers than should be statistically possible. 

UT: May the odds be ever in our favour.