I Heard You, But I Didn't Listen

CP: What do we dislike about people?

ME: How much space do you want to phill with this post?

MICE ELF: People who don't listen. 

CP: Ask the question you want answered and answer the question you were asked. I have plenty of stories of people not listening. 

ME: Like the time the golfers kept calling us to make tee times and hearing our "CP's Pharmacy" message or us then answering "CP's Palace of Pills"? 

MICE ELF: Yeah. So we phinally gave up and just started scheduling them times. 

ME: At least the calls eventually stopped. 

MICE ELF: What's this have to do with us today? 

CP: People who approach the wrong counter then, when asked a question, are incapable of phormulating the proper, one-word response to it. 

ME: Hi. Are you picking up?

CP: Bingo. 

MICE ELF: Another of your "yes or no" questions. 

CP: But with a twist. Patients approach the PICK UP window, which is clearly marked as such. I look up, make eye contact and clearly enunciate "Hi. Picking Up?"

ME: To which they, to a person, all reply?

MICE ELF: YES!

CP: Only phor me to walk over, unlock the register and ask their names to:

a. have a person shake a bottle, asking "where can I find this"?

b. have someone ask to purchase Sudafed

c. say "I just have a question"

d. ask if there is a key to the toilet

ME: If you have a question, the proper response to our initial question is "no". 

MICE ELF: But they'll usually phollow it with "I just have a quick question".

CP: So true. But if you don't listen to the question I directly asked you, how can I expect you to listen to the answer I subsequently provided?

ME: I just give them random answers. 

MICE ELF: It's really phunny when they repeat it back to you while making eye contact and nodding.