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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

I Forgot.

It's like riding a bike.
Okay, more like falling off a bike.
We go to school and we learn things.
We go through life and we practice things.
They are as easy as breathing; as driving; as eating.
Until one day . . .
We stop doing them. Idle hands may do the Devil's work, but idle brains wither and die.

Imagine a world where you learn to write and speak your name. You do this before tests and on all paperwork through your adult life. Now imagine that the world changes and you only need to present a biometric ID or retina display to gain access to classes, apply for a mortgage, or complete forms at the BMV or your prescriber's office. No more talking or writing expected.

Will you still remember how to communicate the old way?
Will you remember your name?
How to pronounce it?
How to spell it?
Will there be secret, underground societies comprised of humans who prefer the old, verbal method of greeting one another?

Alas, poor Yorick.

CPP: CP, where are you going with this?
CP: Sometimes events occur in multiples and you wonder if it's a sign of the Apocalypse or a series of unrelated anomalies.
CPP: And last week was?
CP: A number of offices called us with the same issue and their answers were all eerily similar in their stupidity.
CPP: Blamed the eclipse?
CP: Worse. The software.
CPP: Okay. Tell me what happened.
CP: Prescribers go to school, right?
CPP: Most of them. Others, I'm not so sure.
CP: But they learn how to write prescriptions, right?
CPP: What with electronic records, it's become an antiquated practise.
CP: Indeed. But the majority of prescribers out there had to hand write prescriptions at some point, non?
CPP: Oui.
CP: Then why did we receive multiple calls from (and make multiple calls to) offices whose electronic prescribing systems were "giving them fits" and they "forgot how to write prescriptions"? I can understand certain traits of a civilisation eroding over a generation, but within a few years of practise?
CPP: I see what you mean.
CP: We had a control prescription where the prescriber forgot to write his DEA#, spell the quantity, and date the prescription.
CPP: Outrageous! Of course you called the office.
CP: Of course, at which point I received the obligatory "the system was down" excuse from the phone answerer person.
CPP: Remember our math teachers in school always telling us we won't always have a calculator?
CP: I repeat that often. It's why I still do all my calculations on the backs of the prescriptions after doing them in head. I check myself.
CPP: Before you wreck yourself?
CP: The point is, we can still do this. We don't get flummoxed. We don't get upset. There is no perturbation. We can think for ourselves and adapt and do what's right and necessary.
CPP: You really need to do a post about having the ability to think for oneself. Something along the lines of learning HOW to think as opposed to being taught WHAT to think.
CP: Like the one I wrote last week?
CPP: Precisely. 

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

This Is Only A Test. Had This Been An Actual Emergency. . .

CP: Sometimes, all you can do is throw your hands in the air . . .
CP's Partner: . . . and wave them like you just don't care?
CP: . . . and pray for the human race.
CPP: What now?
CP: You know how we're allowed to authorise a refill in an emergency for a patient?
CPP: Yes. We have discussed this at length.
CP: Remind me, and enlighten our phellow phollowers, as to what criteria must be met for this to occur.
CPP: Gladly. First, it must be an emergency.
CP: Defined as?
CPP: The patient must be out of (a life-saving) medication. They must be unable to reach their prescriber. The prescriber's office must be closed. We are permitted to fill enough for the patient up to 1 month, but generally only enough to last the emergency period.
CP: Because if they were open, then they would logically be able to reach the prescriber and he/she would be able to fulfill the obligation of approving a new prescription refill.
CPP: Exactly.
CP: And they could reach the prescriber the next day since it's only Tuesday?
CPP: Yes. Why the rephresher?
CP: That phone call I just took.
CPP: Excellent. More role-playing. I'll be the plucky pharmacist.
CP: And I'll be the patient.

CPP: Hello, this is CP <snickers> How may I be of service?
CP <as the patient> I am out of refills.
CPPasCP: I am terribly sorry to hear this. Again, how may I be of service?
CPasPt: I just got off the phone with my office. They told me that I should call you, tell you when my appointment is and that you will give me enough medication to get me through to my appointment.
CPPasCP: That seems kinda backwards, does it not?
CPasPt: I didn't think that sounded right but thought I'd call since I have a great relationship with y'all.
CPPasCP: You were wise to come to us. Here is what I want you to do. Call back to the office and tell them you spoke with us. Tell them we made you an emergency appointment for 8:45 tomorrow morning so that you wouldn't have to wait 2 weeks to see them since that is ridiculous for such an urgent matter. Since they have bestowed so much power upon us, tell them their faith has been rewarded and you shall see them soon.
CPasPt: I like where you're going with this.
CPPasCP: And when they reply with "that's not how this works", kindly remind them that that's exactly what the pharmacists (both of them) said when you explained that we are supposed to use the emergency clause just because they don't want to be bothered to obey the state laws and call in a refill for you.
CPasPt: Will do. Thanks!

CPP: Such an awesome patient. You do realise we couldn't get away with that with all of our patients.
CP: I do. But just wait until you hear what office this was.
CPP: Really? I've explained this to them for 2 years now. They can't invoke "emergency fill" during normal business hours. It's not an emergency if they are actually IN the office and reachable.
CP: Right? As if we don't already do enough work for them . . . Hey, check the queue.
CPP: Seriously? That was quick.
CP: Must have gotten through to them a lot faster than we anticipated. And look! They wrote it wrong so we have to call them to phix it anyway.
CPP: Guess we should have written our own in the first place.
CP: Nah. Where's the #PharmacyPhun in that?

Another all-too-real-life story brought to you by CP; with special guest appearance by CPP.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Do Not Go-Lytely...

Do not Go-lytely into that good night,
The tongue should burn and cry at the first taste;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

The fire coming out the end is fright,
Doctor's orders did not prep for haste
Do not Go-lytely into that good night.

Insides, in panic cry, screaming not right
This unwelcome guest that now clears this space,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Four hours to drink with no end in sight
And now, a glass, to assault yet more waste,
Do not Go-Lytely into that good night.

The cramps, in gut, are spasming tight
In knots it turns like anxious days we've faced,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Again, once more, on the seat I alight
Pray this, the end, of my bowels have been chased.
Do not Go-lytely into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Monday, August 21, 2017

What's Your Birthday?

I learned a long time ago that "First Name" somehow sounds a lot like "Birth Day" to people standing  at a pharmacy counter. As a result I modified my approach to asking for a patient's "Date of Birth". It doesn't mean we still don't receive the wrong answer from time to time. but this image always comes to mind when it does.

No, no, no, no, no, no
No shorty what's your birthday?
I said I need to know what is your birthday?
I needa have all your info what's your birthday?

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Lice Lice Baby

Yo, R. I. D., let's kick it.

Lice Lice Baby, Lice Lice Baby

All right stop, irritate and scratchin'
Lice is back and it needs some attention
Nits are stuck on the hair so tightly
Can't go to school the nits are unsightly
Will the itching' stop? Damn, I hope so
Stay away from the mayo.
Rakin' the scalp with an itch I can't handle
Gas and a match will burn parasites like a candle

Fwoomp! Shoulda used clippers instead.
Bear can't hide in the trees if there ain't no wood.
Pickin', so hard I broke the comb's handle
Nits attachin' to my roots like a vandal
Head-to-head contact, it's just frowned upon
Parents don't want us kids to get along

Just for this problem Nix will solve it
If that don't work maybe Rid may resolve it.

Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head
Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head

Now the parasites are lurkin'
Resistance is growing and OTC's not workin'
Get to the doctor, to the doctor, for savin'
Scripts are good for lice that's misbehavin'
Treating patients with malathion
Natroba is newer to rely on
Used to use Lindane or a product called Kwell
Robi-comb and LiceMD are new, that's swell
Smilin' for school photos
The girlies sharing combs, teachers screamin' "Hell No!"
Did they stop? No, kept brushin' tho.
Helmets and hats we say don't share 'em
Now they're planning sleepovers and we say forget 'em
Keep lice from spreadin'
So we continue to use coco-nut oil.

Killing all the eggs off is a challenge
Ovicidal meds they just can't manage
Seven days to repeat doses
Pediculicide's no better
Mom's got the comb and Dad's got the razor
Aiming for bugs starting to crawl
Parents freakin' out they got 4 more kids in the hall
Wailing poured out like a banshee
Kids off running, never knew man she
Broke all the windows neighbours heard
Cursing comin' out my mouth real loud
Drew the police, then a small crowd
Parents and children, thankful it's not them
Of scratching and itching now dealing with this problem
Mention lice in passing, everyone scratchin'
Hands to their heads in reflexive action.

Just for this problem Nix will solve it
If that don't work maybe Rid may resolve it.

Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head
Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head Lice Lice Baby, Time for Head
Lice Lice Baby.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

We're All Busy

If you don't want to argue with me, then don't argue. Prefacing your argument with "I don't want to argue" does not absolve you of the penalty for arguing. In this case, instead of arguing, you could learn a thing or two if you would just listen, then process what I'm saying, then acknowledge that you understand. Of course you could argue, but that will end poorly . . . for you.

I Don't Want To Argue But Here I Am Arguing: I would like to have this filled.
CP: I would like to fill this for you. 
IDWTABHIAA: We usually use another of your phine establishments. 
CP: I see that. I also see that this is too soon to fill by 3 days. 
IDWTABHIAA: Why is that? 
CP: We fill all control medications exactly one day early here. Since it was filled last 26 days ago, it is 4 days too soon. As we fill everything 1 day early, you have 3 more days. 
IDWTABHIAA: It's just for Ritalin. 
CP: You should read my post about the word "just" from last week. Anyway, it's just too soon. 
IDWTABHIAA: <Taps finger on prescription> But the doctor wrote the date on there. 
CP: Yes. She wrote "A" date on there. It's called the <taps finger on prescription> "earliest fill date" which means that is the earliest date on which I CAN fill it. It's like a Speed Limit sign. You can drive UP TO the posted speed, but over that is bad. I can fill it any day ON OR AFTER the date written, but before that is bad. And, like a speed limit sign, it's more of a suggestion. 
IDWTABHIAA: So you're refusing to fill it even with that date on there? 
CP: Pretty much. Yeah. 
CP: I already told you. We fill all controls exactly one day early (there are always exceptions) and this is 4 days early. The date she wrote on the prescription is irrelevant. This prescription was written a couple months ago. Since you did not fill the other prescriptions in a timely manner, the due date of this one has become delayed. 
IDWTABHIAA: Your job is to fill it with that date on there. 
CP: No. The date is immaterial. Your doctor can write anything she wants on the prescription. It is not a direct order from Jean-Luc Picard, "Make it so", that I have to obey. There are laws and governing bodies to which I owe my allegiance. 
IDWTABHIAA: Now I have to make two trips. 
CP: Actually, you only have to make 1 more. 
IDWTABHIAA: I barely have time to make even one trip. 
CP: Yeah. We're all busy.