CANDY: I need a refill.
CP: Certainly. Do you have the Rx number?
CANDY: No. But I know the name.
CP: That helps too. What's your name?
CANDY: CANDY (Cees Are Not Dees Y'know).
CP: Okay. And what do you need refilled?
CANDY: My diaphragm.
CP: Oh. Okay. Take a deep breath.
CANDY: <inhales> Okay. Now what?
CP: You refilled your diaphragm.
CANDY: No. My medication. It's called diaphragm.
CP: Okay. Like the little trampoline for sperm? We do phill those upon occasion but rarely refill them. Usually they're not supposed to get full.
CANDY: No. My medication. I take it by mouth.
CP: That's not how diaphragms work. That's called a #DentalDam.
CANDY: No. The medication I take phor depression.
CP: Do you have the bottle?
CP: The one with the Rx# on it?
CP: Which would have helped in the phirst place but would not have resulted in this phunny encounter?
CP: Spell the name phor me.
CP: You do know that "C" and "D" are not pronounced the same, right? Not sure how you got the rest of the letter salad that resulted in CITALOPRAM becoming DIAPHRAGM but you win the award phor #PharmacyQuoteOfTheWeek.