It Starts Like This

CP: Good Morning. Thanks phor wating phor the gates to open to ask your question. Are you picking up? 

Doesn't Understand Here: I was here last week asking for a refill. 

CP: You were. As was I. That's not a question. 

DUH: You said you were contacting my Dr. and he hadn't called you back yet. 

CP: Still waiting phor the question. 

DUH: I'm on my way to his office right now and want to know how many times you called him. 

CP: Still no question but I can tell you contacted Dr. Zoffis 7 times in the last 11 days. How many times did you call him?

DUH: Once. 

CP: You've been down here twice and called me multiple times but you only called Dr. Zoffis once?

DUH: I didn't know I had to. 

CP: Whose prescription is it? 

DUH: Dr. Zoffis!

CP: NO! Whose prescription is it? Whose medication is it? It's not mine. 

DUH: It's mine. 

CP: And you only called Dr. Zoffis once in 11 days and are going to go complain to him that he didn't get back to me after I faxed, emailed, sent a CandyGram and Carrier Pigeon and used Semaphores to request refills on your behalf? 

DUH: Yes. I want to know why I've been out so long. 

CP: Well, as I always say, #ICanExplainItToYouButICantUnderstandItPhorYou 

UT: Think he gets it?

CP: No. I'll ask him when he comes back later to get hi new Rx. 

UT: It's out phault. 

CP: Always.