Lie To Me

UT: What is the name for our IVR. 

CP: Why?

UT: When people call to complain about our outgoing phone calls, we should tell the patients about them. 

CP: Should we make up a background history as well? Flesh out the character?

UT: Sure. Makes it more believable. 

New Uber Tech In Training: What are we talking about? 

UT: We are discussing the potential names for our IVR. 

NUTIT: Why would you do that? 

CP: Last week I had this conversation: 

LL: You need to tell that girl you work with to stop calling my husband!

CP: Ok. She's gone for the day but I'll make sure she stops. 

LL: I just got another call! He's in his 80's for crying out loud and I'm old too. 

CP: Only seems proper. 

LL: He gets calls from her all day, every day of the week! She won't stop. 

CP: Well I checked his profile and there is nothing here for him. Was it a real girl, or. . . ?

LL: She said one of us had something there and I don't need anything. I'm going to have her job for harassment. 

CP: You do have. . . 

LL: We're old people and can't keep answering the phones. I want her fired!

CP: Must be a busy life if the phone is that crazy at your homestead. I can tell you she's been a pistol ever since we hired her. Won't take no for an answer. Really dedicated to her job and patients though. Ever since she lost the Baby Bells in the divorce, old Ma just ain't been the same. Nothing stops her from getting through. 

LL: I appreciate that but it's harassment. 

CP: It's also not a real girl so. . . I will make sure I talk to my computer about her behaviour as soon as I learn to communicate with her. Until then, I cannot guarantee she will be fired since she technically isn't my employee. 

LL: Just tell her to stop calling us. 

UT: So we checked and she DID have a refill ready to pick up. 

CP: AND her husband will pick it up, go home, then immediately call in another refill. He's down here shopping 3 to 5 days a week and always asks if something is here before going home and calling in something else. 

NUTIT: She tried to have the automated system fired? 

UT: Yes. But they don't want taken off the automated call system because they forget to pick up their prescriptions. 

CP: Even though he is down here 3 to 5 days per week. 

UT: Which brings us back to a name. 

CP: With as many people not believing the system (it said something was ready, it said it was ready to be filled, it didn't call/text/mimeograph when it said it would, etc) I decided on a name. 

UT: What is it?

CP: It's perfect. It is a name that conveys lying AND not being real and someone wanting to "fire" it. 

UT: Oh dear. 

CP: Pinocchio! 

NUTIT: Lame. My old pharmacy called theirs Earl, as in "Earl had to die". 

"If I gotta sin to see her again, then I'm going to lie, lie, lie."