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Thursday, February 19, 2015

The System

Skynet is real.
We continue to feed it information.
It's like "The Cloud".
Or "THE System"…You know "THE System", right? This is where everything in the world is located and conveniently stored so it can be plucked out of the void at a moment's notice to serve your every whim.
It's like THE Google, only more personal.
There is no arguing with someone once they invoke "THE System" argument.
It's like to trying to argue with a woman after she says "fine".

To Wit: (and yes, sometimes I continue these witty dialogues just to see how far down the rabbit hole I may be drawn.)

CP: Guten Morgen.
Frau I Can't Know Everything Now: Tag. Here is my insurance.
CP: There is no prescription information on here.
FICKEN: Just plug in the numbers.
CP: To what?
Herr FICKEN: "THE System".
CP: Oh. <wink, wink> Got it. "THE System. <pantomimes air-typing 100 wpm over the counter and blankly staring at the sky>
FICKEN: What are you doing?
CP: Shhh. I'm entering the information you provided into THE System.
FICKEN: How's that work?
CP: About as well as this useless card you just gave me. I would have had more luck if you had pulled your Diner's Club card out of your Members Only jacket from 1983 instead of this.
H-FICKEN: They said to just give you this card and tell you to put the information into "THE System".
CP: And you watched me do that and saw how successful it was. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, wait, no I don't, but there is no Skynet. There is no THE System <holds arms outstretched> anywhere for me to input and pull data using these numbers. Call your HR Dept.
H-FICKEN: I did. They're the ones who told me that.
CP: Indeed. And you believed them?
H-FICKEN: Of course.
CP: As opposed to me. The pharmacist? The almost-most trusted professional in the country, standing in front of you, telling you I know how to do my job and what pieces of information I need and how the process works and this ain't my first rodeo?
FICKEN: Right.

CP: I fixed it.
FICKEN: You put it in THE System?
CP: No. Turns out we filled something for another family member at another store.
FICKEN: We said that.
CP: No. I asked if we had filled for HER before and you said "yes". Anyway, the new insurance is Medco. The ID#, phone#, group#, BIN#, PCN and well, everything else have no relation to this card you presented. They are as unrelated as African Swallows and German Shepherds.

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