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Monday, February 9, 2015

The Inanity of Corporate Quotas...

Each car dealer may have a quota of vehicles for each of his stores or each of his salesman to hit each month. That's easy. People come to YOU looking to buy a car.
Pharmacies requiring a set number of CMRs to be completed each month is like dictating how many traumas an ER must complete each month. Do the hospital administrators tell their staff to "just make accidents happen"? Hey, on your way into work tonight, cause a chain reaction pileup on the expressway so we can make our quota.
Well, hopefully not.
The same can be said of CMRs in the pharmacy. What if you call everyone on your list and no one wants to stop by for a chat?
Every Apex Top Manager's Expectations: Why are your numbers so low?
CP: No one wants to come in.
EATME: Why not?
CP: They don't think they need it.
EATME: Convince them.
CP: They're on Medicaid. They have plans.
EATME: Like what.
CP: Napping.
EATME: What about the others?
CP: They don't want to come in.
EATME: Why not?
CP: Why don't you call and ask them yourself?
EATME: Not my job.
CP: What is your job? Other than to pester me to make quotas?
EATME: They're not quotas. They're a limited or fixed number or amount of things.
CP: Thank you Mr. Webster. How do I convince people to get something they neither want nor need?
EATME: Don't care. Just do it.
CP: Is kidnapping legal?
EATME: What?
CP: I figured we could pull a Ramsay Snow and have someone kneecapped in the parking lot, drag them in the back door, counsel them with a little black hood on like Theon Greyjoy, then let them leave only to follow them out and capture them again.
EATME: What? No! That would probably only work once and you don't have the budget for that much time.
CP: Can we lock customers in the dungeon/waiting room until they agree to be MTM'd to death? Perhaps tell them we will give them "just a few to get through the weekend" if they accede to our demands?
EATME: I don't care about your tactics, just get them done.
CP: Yes, m'lord.
EATME: And I'm cutting your tech hours by 10% since it's almost summer.
CP: Of course. Hey boss?
CP: Do you need a CMR?

1 comment:

  1. Haha, this couldn't be more true. You should present the ER analogy to your supervisor sometime. I can't believe pharmacies have quotes to fill. That really doesn't make sense in the majority of cases. | http://www.sandstonepharmacies.com