Facebook and Twitter

and follow my blog on Twitter @pharmacynic to receive notifications on new posts.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

(More) Stupid Expectations

Insurances change.
They send new cards…or not.
People receive them…or not.
People know they have them…or not.
People have oddly unrealistic expectations of my power. While I am not quite Aladdin's genie, or Jafar ("Phenomenal cosmic powers…itty bitty living space"- okay, that part is true), I can work some magic. However, this was not one of those days…except to make myself laugh.

CP: Allo? This is the United States calling. Are we reaching?
Needs To Lower Expectations: Yes?
CP: I was calling because it appears you have a new insurance.
NTLE: I do?
CP: You do. Would you happen to have the information with you?
NTLE: Perhaps.
CP: Could you bring the card with you when you return?
NTLE: "Can't I just give it to you over the phone?" (not an unreasonable request.)
CP: Sure. I just need the numbers.
NTLE: Which numbers?
CP: ID#, BIN#, PCN#, Group# would all be most helpful.
NTLE: "I don't have any numbers." (now it's unreasonable.)
CP: Seriously?
CP: Then what exactly do you wish me to take over the phone?
NTLE: The information?
CP: Ah. Yes. "THE Information." And what information might that be? See, the information I need, the information to which you are referring, is located on the card. It is made up of numbers. Occasionally a few letters may appear, but numbers rule the world. Without any numbers, you are without insurance information.
NTLE: Really?
CP: Yes. To put this another way. You asking me to "take the information over the phone" without ANY information in hand is like me calling and asking a hooker to just provide services over the phone…without getting in the car…without anything in hand…(places phone over crotch for maximum emphasis of point-realises patient on phone can't see this.) You follow?

No comments:

Post a Comment