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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I Have the Power!

I was not blessed with the benefit of foresight. I, unfortunately, was only given hindsight. Prescience is not one of my skills. This does not stop people from thinking I have this magical power. With the number of predictions I am routinely asked to make, you would think otherwise.

What time will my doctor call you?
What will my insurance copay be?
When will the prior authorization go through?
How long will I have to wait...if I come in after 6 tonight?
Who will win the EPL this year?

I decided to take a sublime approach to answering these questions. I am going to get a sound effects board for my computer. The next time someone asks this question I will announce "Sublime Time" and the whole pharmacy, a la Coyote Ugly, will jump up on the counter, join arms, do a kick line and sing:

"I don't practice Santeria. I ain't got no crystal ball."

1 comment:

  1. "When will I hear back on on refill request?"

    I wanted to say, "Lady, if I had that gift of seeing the future, I wouldn't be here. I would have bought a lottery ticket long ago and be on the beach right now."

    Instead, I said, "I'm sure we'll hear back soon. It's in the hands of the doctor now."