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Tuesday, September 17, 2013


Our pharmacy had the fire alarm go off in the back room around 7pm a while back. Most people, most normal, rational people, would see and smell smoke and opt for the closest exit. Neigh, Neigh! I say. For we are dealing with the "Retail Pharmacy Patient". It played out like this...

Hyper Manager: The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
CP: Pull yourself together. It's only the fire alarm. We heard it, but figured it was a drill. 
HM: It isn't. We have to evacuate now! Get everyone out of the store. 

Put Out Patient #1: But I need my medication. I've been waiting in this pick up line for an hour and a half. 
Put Out Patient #2: Yeah. It's just a fire. I can't even see the flames. I have to be somewhere in 5 minutes. I can't go outside and come back. 

HM: It is my job to ensure the safety of our employees and customers. For that reason you have to close the pharmacy and evacuate. Now!

POP#1: I'm going to sue you for not giving me my medication. 
POP#2: I'm going to call your corporate office and file a complaint about how inconvenienced I was by all this and score some free gift cards. It's all your fault I'm missing my son's soccer game that started 15 minutes ago, even though I just got here as the alarms started sounding. 

I realize it's a little being next in line when the movie sells out. Or when the roller coaster breaks down. Or when the bathroom gets the "closed for cleaning" sign put up right in front of you. But It's A Fire! I really wish these people were in line when my pharmacy was robbed. Couldn't you just see them bitching to the death the guy with the gun? 

POP#1: Oh no you don't. I was here first. They closed this place down for a fire last week and I couldn't get my medication for a whole 3 hours!

POP#2. I'm going to complain that this robbery was all your pharmacy's fault and score me some gift cards. This always happens when I come here...

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