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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

For Hire...

"I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off."
And I wish we could be allowed a HIPAA exemption a day. Here is why...

CP: <at drop-off window> How may I help you today?
Know-It-All: Obviously I'd like to fill a prescription.
CP: Thank you, but my name is not obviously. I see you have papers there, and I understand you are at "drop-off" but many people come to ask questions with shopping lists in their hands. Not so obvious...
KIT: Fine. How long will it take to fill these?
CP: Have we filled prescriptions for you before?
KIT: Obviously, that's why I come here.
CP: There you go with calling me obviously again. I expect it to take between 17 and 23 minutes.
KIT: What? Why so long? All you do is (pick one: 1. put pills in a bottle, 2. slap a label on it, 3. grab it off the shelf from right behind you there.)

<And this is where the exemption comes into play.>

CP: Oh! You're experienced! Why didn't you say so? I happen to have an application right here. Just fill this out while you wait. Better yet. Come on back. I will let you fill your own prescriptions today. I sure am glad you came along when you did. We are short-staffed this week, what with budget cuts and the addition of flu shot quotas and all. I actually have to go give a shot right now so let me let you in to get started on your prescriptions. I'll only be about 3 minutes so I expect you'll have everything ready for me to check upon my return. Again, I can't tell you how excited I am that you happened to walk in just as I was crying in the corner, praying that the Gods would send me someone to ease my suffering during these long pharmacy winter days. Pharmacy Gods be praised! They like me. They really like me!

KIT: <to Super-tech> What just happened?
ST: CP happened. CP owned you. Now go have a seat in the waiting area. We shall call you in about 27-33 minutes.
KIT: It was just 20 minutes like a minute ago.
ST: First, you spent so long arguing with CP that more prescriptions got in front of you. Second, it's a time penalty for arguing with the pharmacist. Any more questions?
KIT: No.
ST: Don't forget your application...

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