What's In A Name?

CP: <laughs uproariously>

ME and MICE ELF: <stare at each other>

ME: Ok. I'll bite. 

CP: <laughs harder>

MICE ELF: What got into you?

CP: Did you ever hear something every day and then, for some insanely stupid reason, you hear it again in such a way that it forever alters your impression of it? 

ME: Like pronouncing finasteride as Fine-Ass-To-Ride?

CP: EXACTLY! 

MICE ELF: So what happened today?

CP: I have a list of names I use frequently, Dr. Zoffis, Ass and Douche Baggins, etc. 

ME: Right. And?

CP: I have some I haven't used. Like the private investigator, Dick. 

MICE ELF: Ok. Dick who?

CP: Lofenac. Dick Lofenac. Pronounced LO'-fin-Ack. 

MICE ELF: Phunny. But not enough to warrant your insane cackle earlier. 

CP: Right. No. I was picturing writing a movie and thought Tessa Perles was a good name. 

ME: It is. Sounds like a pharmacy stripper name. 

CP: Precisely. But, it was then that I realised it would make a better porn star name if we made a pharmacy porn with her partner. 

MICE ELF: Her partner?

CP: Amber Vials. 

ME: Amber Vials? 

CP: YES! Doesn't Amber Vials sound like a great stripper or porn star name? Imagine the plot lines you could write about how things come in Amber Vials. Especially Tessa Perles. 

MICE ELF: You're phucking mental. 

ME: I have to admit, it is phunny. 

MICE ELF: Must be Phriday at the pharmacy. 

CP: And now you'll never not picture Amber Vials the actress as you restock the supplies. We need more Amber Vials!