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Sunday, August 1, 2021

What's In A Name?

CP: <laughs uproariously>
ME and MICE ELF: <stare at each other>
ME: Ok. I'll bite. 
CP: <laughs harder>
MICE ELF: What got into you?
CP: Did you ever hear something every day and then, for some insanely stupid reason, you hear it again in such a way that it forever alters your impression of it? 
ME: Like pronouncing finasteride as Fine-Ass-To-Ride?
MICE ELF: So what happened today?
CP: I have a list of names I use frequently, Dr. Zoffis, Ass and Douche Baggins, etc. 
ME: Right. And?
CP: I have some I haven't used. Like the private investigator, Dick. 
MICE ELF: Ok. Dick who?
CP: Lofenac. Dick Lofenac. Pronounced LO'-fin-Ack. 
MICE ELF: Phunny. But not enough to warrant your insane cackle earlier. 
CP: Right. No. I was picturing writing a movie and thought Tessa Perles was a good name. 
ME: It is. Sounds like a pharmacy stripper name. 
CP: Precisely. But, it was then that I realised it would make a better porn star name if we made a pharmacy porn with her partner. 
MICE ELF: Her partner?
CP: Amber Vials. 
ME: Amber Vials? 
CP: YES! Doesn't Amber Vials sound like a great stripper or porn star name? Imagine the plot lines you could write about how things come in Amber Vials. Especially Tessa Perles. 
MICE ELF: You're phucking mental. 
ME: I have to admit, it is phunny. 
MICE ELF: Must be Phriday at the pharmacy. 
CP: And now you'll never not picture Amber Vials the actress as you restock the supplies. We need more Amber Vials!

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