CP: Our labels need updated.
CP: They're not exciting enough.
MICE ELF: They're supposed to convey important instructions to the patient so she knows how to correctly take her medication.
CP: But they could be improved. They're boring.
ME: Boring is good. Succinct. To the point. No misunderstanding.
CP: That ship sailed a long time ago when e-scripts joined the scene. If there is one truth about e-scripts and directions, it's that they're even more difficult to understand now.
MICE ELF: What do you have in mind?
CP: Same message, more elegance; or eloquence.
ME: What prompted this?
CP: Remember yesterday's post? Under My Tongue?
ME and MICE ELF: We do.
ME: Yeah. What prompted that?
CP: One of my techs was fixing her sig code in the computer and wrote "under the tongue, dissolve one tablet" and thought that was a much more fluid way to write the directions. Then I took it to the next level and asked us, what if we applied that to ALL directions and labels?
ME: Oh dear. And you came up with?
CP: Diagramming sentences. We just move the parts around.
1. Under the tongue shalt thou dissolve a single tablet.
2. Via the Vagina shall ye insert one applicator of thine cream.
3. By mouth, thy shall swallow two capsules (place a pair in there)
4. Regarding the rectum, remove from foil one rocket and ram it home.
5. Between the lips place the inhaler and proceed to breathe deep, puff. . . puff . . . hold. . . hold. . . hold. . . exhale through nose, pass.
MICE ELF: Wait. What was that last one?
CP: Huh? Nothing. Thinking ahead. We have pharmacy phriends in other states too, don't forget.
ME: This was lame, even phor you.
CP: It's been a slow week. But I made ME laugh.
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