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Thursday, August 12, 2021

Pharmacy Label Phlair

CP: Our labels need updated. 
ME: Why? 
CP: They're not exciting enough. 
MICE ELF: They're supposed to convey important instructions to the patient so she knows how to correctly take her medication. 
CP: But they could be improved. They're boring. 
ME: Boring is good. Succinct. To the point. No misunderstanding. 
CP: That ship sailed a long time ago when e-scripts joined the scene. If there is one truth about e-scripts and directions, it's that they're even more difficult to understand now. 
MICE ELF: What do you have in mind? 
CP: Same message, more elegance; or eloquence. 
ME: What prompted this? 
CP: Remember yesterday's post? Under My Tongue?
ME and MICE ELF: We do.
ME: Yeah. What prompted that?
CP: One of my techs was fixing her sig code in the computer and wrote "under the tongue, dissolve one tablet" and thought that was a much more fluid way to write the directions. Then I took it to the next level and asked us, what if we applied that to ALL directions and labels?
ME: Oh dear. And you came up with?
CP: Diagramming sentences. We just move the parts around. 
1. Under the tongue shalt thou dissolve a single tablet. 
2. Via the Vagina shall ye insert one applicator of thine cream.
3. By mouth, thy shall swallow two capsules (place a pair in there)
4. Regarding the rectum, remove from foil one rocket and ram it home. 
5. Between the lips place the inhaler and proceed to breathe deep, puff. . . puff . . . hold. . . hold. . . hold. . . exhale through nose, pass. 
MICE ELF: Wait. What was that last one? 
CP: Huh? Nothing. Thinking ahead. We have pharmacy phriends in other states too, don't forget. 
ME: This was lame, even phor you. 
CP: It's been a slow week. But I made ME laugh.

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