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Monday, May 31, 2021


ME: I love the names of birth control.
MICE ELF: I always thought there should be a gentleman's club where the entertainment all have birth control names. 
ME: But only with the marketed spelling of the name. 
MICE ELF: Alyacen for Allison. 
CP: Are you discussing birth control names again?
ME: Yes. I've been watching Attack on Titan and, for some reason, all I see are ads for Kyleena on Hulu.
CP: I have a new favorite. It's a generic name, but it has a certain appeal. 
MICE ELF: Meaning?
CP: The name is enticing, attractive, almost seductive. 
ME: Do I have to ask or are you going to make this a long-winded explanation?
CP: I just see a couple of friends discussing:

HER: I'm now on birth control. It's ELURYNG. 
Her Friend: Is it?
HER: Yes. I love it. 
HF: I'm not so sure. 
HER: Why not?
HF: Well it's not like you're going to lead with that on your dating profile. "I love dark humour, have an eclectic music taste, and my birth control makes me ALLURING."
HF: There is nothing ALLURING about birth control. 
HER: It's a vaginal ring, E-L-U-R-Y-N-G.
HF: Well I still wouldn't lead with that. 
HER : <rips out ring and throws it at HF>
MICE ELF: Well that took a turn at the end. 
ME: As long as she doesn't bring the ring to the counter, hand it to me, and say "I need this refilled", we are good. 
CP: I can just see someone expecting me to put the medication back in the ring. Like the optometrist who told me about one of his patients. She said she needed her glasses refilled. She couldn't see anymore and she thought the prescription had "run out of the glasses" and he would just fill it back up. 

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