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Friday, January 29, 2021

Disposable

CP: Que Sera Sera
CPP: Is this a reflective moment? 
CP: No. More an exercise in value. 
CPP: How do you mean?
CP: As our society has become more disposable, more single-use minded, many things should not be considered instantly disposable. 
CPP: You were watching "The Repair Shop" again, weren't you?
CP: Yes, it's quite addictive. But this example is a little less about temporal value and more about simplicity. 
CPP: Remember our old partner and her coffee pot? 
CP: Of course. 
CPP: Is this anything like that?
CP: Oddly, yes. I thought she was pretty unique but this rivals that for peculiarity. Why don't you set the scene?
 
CPP: I need a new coffee pot. 
CP: Why? What's wrong with it?
CPP: It's dirty. 
CP: Did you clean it?
CPP: Haha! No. 
CP: You don't know how? Or just didn't know you could do that?
CPP: Eww. Gross. It's dirty. I need a new one. 
CP: Vinegar?
CPP: Eww. I'm buying a new one.                     
CP: Just because it's dirty?
CPP: Yes. 

CPP: Your turn. 

CP:How may we help you?
Needs A Meter And Says They Expire: I need a new meter.
CP: What is the issue?
NAMASTE: I bought this one and now it no longer works.
CP: I see. What seems to be the trouble?
NAMASTE: It won't turn on, won't read the strips when it does, doesn't give me results. I need a new one.
CP: Have you tried troubleshooting it?
NAMASTE: Not sure how shooting it will help. Maybe when I get the new one. 
CP: <scritches scalp> How about a battery?
NAMASTE: I should beat it and shoot it?
CP: New battery. CR 2032. 
NAMASTE: It would be easier to buy a new meter. This one is bad. 
CP: It's less than a year old judging by that receipt you brought. 
NAMASTE: They must go bad. 
CP: Yes. Batteries die. Do you own a watch?
NAMASTE: Yes, a nice Seiko. 
CP: Hmm. I own a few Special Edition collector watches. They all require batteries. You mean to tell me that I should just throw them away and buy new, collector-edition watches instead of replacing the batteries?
NAMASTE: It would be easier.And it's guaranteed to work right away. 
CP: Umm. Hmm. I. . . Let me grab you a battery. If that fixes it, problem solved. If not, we can send you over to the Meter Maids who can fit you for a new meter. 
NAMASTE: But I want the same one. 
CP: Right. BRB. 
NAMASTE: Well?
CP: Success! It works!
NAMASTE: Will I get a new meter if this happens again?
CP: No. You will replace this battery with the second battery from the 2-pack you are about to purchase; the one missing the battery I just used. 
NAMASTE: I still think a new meter would have been easier. 

#Tosser

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