You've Certainly "Lost It"

UT: CP, I need your help with this one. 

CP: Certainly. What's the issue?

UT: She needs her refill and the other pharmacy won't fill it. 

CP: I'm supposed to transfer it? 

UT: Yes. 

CP: Can't wait to get the other half of the story from The Other Pharmacist. 

TOP: She lost it. 

CP: Of course. What is she expecting from me? The same answer but in a different voice?

TOP: I offered her a discount price but she "didn't like the one I gave her". 

CP: Phun. 

Lost It Lady Doubting EveryBody But Is Expectant: I need my medication. 

CP: It is too soon. 

LIL DEBBIE: Yes. TOP told me the same thing. But I'm out and I still need it.

CP: I can cash it out for you or you can check for a discount card. 

LIL DEBBIE: No. How many can you give me to hold me until my refill will work?

CP: As many as you wish to pay for today. 

LIL DEBBIE: I don't want to pay for any. My insurance pays for them. 

CP: And they did. But you lost those. Now you wish to replace them and the insurance is saying "not our problem you are irresponsible". 

LIL DEBBIE: But I need them. 

CP: Then you can pay for them. 

LIL DEBBIE: No. My insurance pays for them. 

CP: Only when they are due. The lost/stolen/vacation/dog-ate-my-homework override didn't work either. And I can't "give you some" since I have never filled this, nor any other prescription for you. That's not how business transactions work. 

LIL DEBBIE: How much is it?

CP: That'll be $12.00. 

LIL DEBBIE: I usually pay $5. 

CP: Right. So that's a pretty good deal. 

LIL DEBBIE: No. I only want to pay $5. 

CP: Then you will have to wait until your refill is due and your insurance agrees to pay. 

LIL DEBBIE: Did you call my doctor?

CP: Why?

LIL DEBBIE: To tell him I need them. 

CP: I think he knows you need them. Him telling me "she really needs them" isn't going to make your insurance pay for them, especially since you told me there was no dosage change and that you really lost them. 

LIL DEBBIE: You should call him. 

CP: I will pretend I called him while you pretend you didn't lose them. It's still $12.00 for more today.

LIL DEBBIE: It was only $11.50 with the TOP. 

CP: Shall I transfer it back there? 

LIL DEBBIE: No. I really need it. I'm going to see if I can find it cheaper.

UT: That sounded phun. 

CP: Still trying to figure out how much her time and effort are worth compared to "I really need them" vs. "I need to save $7.00". 

UT: Maybe it's the principle?

CP: Sounds like she needs sent to the principal. 

#IDontWantItIJustNeedIt

#IWillGladlyPayYouTuesdayForAHamburgerToday