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Monday, January 18, 2021

You Forgot

CP: Rhetorical question. 
ME: Go for it. 
CP: Who is responsible for remembering your personal details?
ME: I?
CP: I for I, ME for ME, and MICE ELF for MICE ELF, yeah?
ME and MICE ELF: Yeah. 
CP: Just checking. 
ME: Why? What happened?
CP: There once was a lady seeking drugs. . . 
MICE ELF: Just tell us the story.

<phone rings>
CP: Good morning and welcome to CP's Palace of Pills. How may I help you?
Forgetful Lady Awaiting Knowing Epithets: You forgot my meds.
CP: As they were not mine, I fail to see how I forgot them. I may have forgotten mine, but you forgot yours. 
FLAKE: I was supposed to receive 3 medications and you only gave me one. 
CP: If you were supposed to receive 3 and walked away with one, that sounds more like a you problem than a me problem. 
ME: Don't drag ME into this. 
FLAKE: You only gave me one. You forgot two. 
MICE ELF: Hypothetical, analogical story problem time?
ME: Yes!
CP: Do you have children?
FLAKE: What does that have to do with this?
CP: Let's assume you have 3 children. If you take them to the daycare in the morning before work and leave them there while you do something oddly annoying for a few hours, how many of your children are at the daycare?
FLAKE: Three. 
CP: Good. Now, let us suppose you return to retrieve them at the end of your day. If the preschool marches one child out to your car, what do you do? Do you drive home, sans two children, and THEN call the daycare to complain that THEY forgot your other children?
ME: I can just see it now: "One? Hmm, I thought there were more but maybe I left them at home. Maybe I'll check their rooms." . . . <arrives at home> "Not here. Those damn daycare workers forgot to give me my kids. . . again! This always happens. I'm switching daycares."
MICE ELF: <in deep narrator voice> She did NOT, in fact, change preschools.
FLAKE: It's your fault. 
CP: Alas, my lass, as I just illustrated, it is not. Either way, you have to return to pick them up before we close. We cannot keep your children overnight. We will place them outside with a puppy and a Valentine's Day party bag of Fun Dip before we leave. 
ME: Do you want to tell the people the coda of the story?
MICE ELF: Please? This is the best part!
CP: She picked them up via the drive thru. We placed 3 bags in the tube and sent it over. She took out 1 bag and didn't return the tube. When the person behind pulled up, he noticed 2 bags in the tube. 
ME: That's like putting one kid in the car seat and leaving the other 2 standing on the sidewalk in front of the car as she backs away. 
MICE ELF: They just stood there and cried about being forgotten. 
CP: At least they got a puppy. 

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