Sudafed Shoppers and IDs

I never knew driver's licenses cracked. Or came apart. Always in the same place. Until I had to start taking ID's for Sudafed. Perhaps I had just never ID'd enough people to witness the unfortunate hell people's licenses are put through.
Until I saw the magnetic strips were being swapped from stolen licenses onto their own and then taped back together. (Although some people just handed me the parts with the strips to swipe...)
Best story I had about a "Legitimate" Sudafed Purchaser:
A girl in her 20's (because she appeared to be 45) approached the counter and handed over her ID. My eagle-eyed, honest technician brought it to me and asked what to do with an expired license.
CP: Well let's see. Since it's expired and the BMV is right next door, direct her to their office. Also, does she have another form of ID? Something else is wrong with this one.
Sudafed Shopper: Sure. I have this other license here.
<Tech brings it to me>
CP: Can you sit tight while we verify this one?
SS: What seems to be the problem? I've used both of those before.
CP: I'm sure. Well the first one says your name is FW, you are 39 and are 5'6" weigh 217 lbs. and happen to be a red-haired Irish woman.
The second tells me your name is SH, you are 24 and are 5'2", weigh 119 lbs and appear to be a dark-haired Latino. Never mind that the first ID expired 3 years ago and the second one expired 5 years ago. The simple facts that you are 5'10" and appear to be a blonde, former Swedish ski instructor, seem to tell me that neither of these ID's belong to you. Care to try again?
SS: Yeah. I have another one in the car. Can I go get it?
CP: Since I'm not about to go for you and have no idea how many friends you have piled in there, I'll wait for you. And I'll just hold on to these others until you return. Hopefully you did not park too far away. The police are on their way. Too bad the pharmacy is all the way in the back of the store...