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Monday, July 15, 2013

I Heard the Message. I Just Didn't Listen to the Message...

...Scene cuts in with a "dunh dunh", like this is an episode of Law and Order.

"Tuesday. Afternoon." dunh dunh

CP: Super-tech, did you call Mr. Limp Bizkit about his Cialis prescription?
Super-Tech: I did. I left a message. I told him to call us back. I left all of the relevant, HIPAA-approved information on his cell phone per his HIPAA-approved release form as is HIPAA policy. 
CP: Way to go, Super-Tech. 
ST: <Blushing> Thanks for the compliment. It's because I am awesome at my job. 
CP: You are. This pharmacy only runs well because of the techs here.  

"Sunday. Evening. 4:55p.m." dunh dunh

LB: I am here about my prescription. 
CP: Okay. And why are you here? 
LB: You people left me a message on my phone some time this week. 
CP: Uh-huh. I see. Okay. And what did the message say exactly?
LB: "I don't know. I didn't play the whole thing or listen to it all completely or really pay attention to it at all. I just figured I'd come in here and you might be able to tell me what it's all about". 
CP: Good. Good. That makes perfect sense. See, we leave messages for you, the patient, so we, the pharmacy, don't have to remember everything about every one of the 3,0000 prescriptions we are filling this week. More importantly, we leave them on the day the issue arises in the hopes that you may find it important enough to call us back within a normal timeframe; not 5 days later at 5 minutes until closing. 
LB: So what am I supposed to do now? I need them. 
CP: Hardly. Let me research this for you. Do you happen to still have the message?
LB: No. I deleted it and left my phone at home. 
CP: Convenient. Usually when we call on quicker-dicker-picker-upper pills, it is for one or all of the following reasons:
a. insurance does not cover it at all
b. insurance requires prior authorization and may pay for it
c. refill too soon
d. they will only cover so many tablets every 30 days
Do any of these sound familiar?
LB: I think it said something about some day it may go something or other. Make sense?
CP: Of course. I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. Idiot happens to be like a second language-I learned it through osmosis and the immersion technique. But I digress...
LB: So can I get my Phallus Philler or not?
CP: Already done sir. And tonight, may the blood flow ever in your favour....

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