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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

It's my Job...

I know lots of stuff. Usually useless stuff, but often important stuff. I know words and stuff and math and stuff and like, drugs and stuff. Yep. Drugs. Pretty much my day job is dealing (with) drugs. I'm always amused/bemused/astonished when someone questions me on drugs. Drugs are my bailiwick. Perhaps I've overdone it with this conversation, but these interactions always make me giddy. I reflect upon them when I am visited by the Dark Side. I attempt to put right, what once went wrong....

Overconfident Guy: Which ones are these?
CP: Your Gabapentin, sir.
OC: I know that. But which ones?
CP: The shiny capsules? Or perhaps you meant to ask "which strength?"
OC: But of course. Allow me to rephrase..."With what strength are you filling my prescription, kind pharmacist?"
CP: Very nice! We have filled your prescription with the 300mg capsules. You are to take 3 of them at a time, 4 times a day.
OC: These are not the 900mg tablets?
CP: No sir. They are not. They do not come in such a strength.
OC: Oh but they do.
CP: Oh, but they do not.
OC: Surely they do. I know that is the highest strength manufactured. It is the highest strength allowed. It is the last strength I can try as it is the maximum dose.
CP: They do not. And don't call me Shirley. While you are indeed at the maximum of 3600mg per day, there is no such strength as 900mg. To achieve this, you must take 3 of the 300mg capsules.

OC: My doctor say it does.
CP: Well my doctor says I'm paranoid. But I think he's just out to get me.

OC: Yes, they make it. Of this I am quite certain.
CP: You dare to question me? THE CP? How did you come across this knowledge? I can tell you it is available as 100, 300, 400, 600, and 800mg formulations. However, no 900mg exists. Of this, I am quite certain.
OC: I have tried the 300mg before. The effects wore off and they had to increase my dose.
CP: And now you are taking 3 of them. At a time.
OC: Yes. And they won't work because the 300mg didn't work before.
CP: When you were taking just 1 at a time?
OC: Yes.
CP: Um. I think you're the first person to argue that taking more of the exact same medication will NOT have an increased effect. Usually people will say "if 1 works well, 2 will work better!"
OC: I already take some other medications. This is too many to take if I have to take 4 more tablets at a time? Are you sure?
CP: <Double checking the math here...3 pills at a time does not equal 4. It's 4 for the day, but>
Yep. I'm sure
OC: Certainly sure you're sure?
CP: Yes. It's drugs. They're kinda my thing...

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