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Friday, April 5, 2013

End of Humanity

1. A customer complained that the Metformin he was purchasing today for his diabetes was too expensive. A normal dose is taking one tablet twice a day. His doctor prescribed two tablets twice a day. He was mad when he had to pay twice the normal 90-day cost because it was twice the normal 90-day amount. (He is paying cash, no insurance, because it is cheaper.) He threatened discrimination because he was "sicker than other people". He threatened "false advertising" because it only says "90-day supply" and his dose is normal for him.
At no point did he say "Thank You" for the two years where his medication was provided for free as a marketing gimmick. Perhaps I should have reminded him.
It would be like me getting pissed at my car company. I traded in my car last month for a new, larger vehicle. My gas tank nearly doubled in size as a result which means I need to purchase more gas to fill it. Thanks to this guy, I think I'm going to try to sue for discrimination. The manufacturer and gas companies are charging me more to fill up because my tank is bigger.
Although this did give me an idea for another post...But another time.

2. A (loyal) customer approacheth...
LC: I say. Would you be so kind as to renew this prescription?
CP: It would be an honor kind sir, thou art our most (loyal) customer and...oh, bother.
LC: Problem?
CP: Yes. See, it appears as though the refills are no more. They have quite expired.
LC: Ah, yes. Was afraid of that.
CP: May I suggest a call to your friendly prescriber?
LC: No. May I suggest you just refill it now and give me my damn pills?
CP: Ooh. Testy are we? Let's try "You need your doctor to write more. No doctor, no refill." Follow?
LC: My doctor won't refill it without seeing me. I don't have the money for an office visit. You need to just give them to me.
CP: Haha. How about, NO?
LC: Listen up. I've been coming here for years. You need to just shut up and refill my bottle now or I'm never patronizing this establishment again.
CP: Is that a promise?
LC: Most definitely.
CP: Then may I bid you fond adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Good day.

3. I have no idea...
CP: Hi.
Missed the Boat: I'd like to have this here prescription filled.
CP: Delightful. We do that here.
MTB: It's an antibiotic, right?
CP: That it is.
MTB: And it's free, right?
CP: I am sorry, but it is not.
MTB: I thought all antibiotics (and everything in life) were free at pharmacies.
CP: At some, they were. Some pharmacies used them as a marketing gimmick to drive sales. All it really did was give people unrealistic expectations about the cost of our services and shorten the temper of lots of really sick, irritable people who now have a deep-rooted hatred for our once revered profession. But I digress...
MTB: When did that stop?
CP: A few months ago.
MTB: Well I want it for free, now!
CP: I am sorry, but we cannot do that. Some places have this for $4 now. You could simply pay me with a $5 bill and I would even give you change.
MTB: NO! That's not right! That's not fair! I wasn't sick when they were free so I couldn't take advantage of free antibiotics then. I want them now! You need to give them to me now!
CP: Wow. Slow down Veruca Salt. I wasn't driving when gas was less than a dollar and I don't think anyone is going to sell it to me for that now simply because "I couldn't take advantage of it then" is my excuse. Similarly, I don't think Apple will let me buy stock today for its $22 IPO from 1980 simply because I was too young to invest at that time.
MTB: You're trying to screw me over. This is bullshit. Give me back my prescription. I'm going somewhere else...
CP: ...Where you'll pay more than $4. Have a lovely afternoon.

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