Expense Reports

It's that time of year again. Everyone needs their profiles printed and expense reports run for tax season. That's the easy part. The hard part is answering the same question hundreds of times with an unsatisfactory answer. We are doing our jobs. Period. I don't make the rules, I just bitch about them.

"Can my husband/wife/life partner/sister/cousin/neighbor/dog/cat/taxi driver pick up my profile for me?"

No. Not unless we have a power of attorney or letter from you giving said relation the authority to retrieve it on your behalf. It had always been this way, but now we can simply invoke "HIPAA" as the answer. Look, your elected officials decided to write this little law. If you have a problem with the law, call your representatives. I think I may just print out their names and phone numbers this year. Every time someone gets a little irritated about the inconvenience of their own privacy being protected, I will hand them a copy. They don't care who picks up their private health information, but they are careful to whisper their phone number and date of birth.
Yes. Your boarder who lives in your attic can pick up all of your medications. Yes, he can come in every day and bring us treats. No, we cannot give him a list of what he has picked up for you without your express written consent. Again, I don't make the rules...I just have to obey them.
Please call ahead to request this report. I know it doesn't take long to print it. I know you are on your way to see your H&R Block guy right now and this is the final piece of paperwork to make your refund instant. Keep in mind, you are unique, just like everyone else. This means everyone else has to do their taxes and everyone else wants this report too. Oh, we also have to work these requests into the rest of our workload.
If you happen to patronize a pharmacy that lets you print these at home, please take advantage. But then again, you already knew that and you're sympathizing with us.