Conversation I'd Like to Have #1

Me: Thank you for calling my pharmacy, Cynical Pharmacist speaking, may I help you?
Average Patient: Did my doctor call anything in for me today?
Me: Yes.
AP: What?
Me: A prescription.
AP: What prescription?
Me: A small round, white one.
AP: What's it for?
Me: What's wrong with you?
AP: Nothing. What's wrong with you?
Me: Nothing. But I didn't need to see a doctor today.
AP: Neither did I.
Me: Then why did your doctor call in something?
AP: I don't know.
Me: Did you call him?
AP: Yes.
Me: Why, I ask, did you call your doctor?
AP: To get a prescription.
Me: Why did you tell him you needed a prescription?
AP: Because my head hurt.
Me: Great. So does mine now. I think I'll call your doctor and ask if he can give me what he gave you.