Either Way...

Damned if you do, damned if you don't...This is an either/or post. Pick one side.
Patients receive too many phone calls.
Patients receive too few phone calls.
Pharmacies make too many phone calls.
Pharmacies make too few phone calls.

So we call:
Either/Or Patient: Why did you call me?
Me: You have no refills on your prescription. We were calling to let you know so you could save a trip until we hear from your doctor and that you may want to call him yourself.
EOP: I know that. That's why I called. So you could fax him. You're stupid.

So we don't call...
EOP: Why didn't you call me and tell me I had no refills?
Me: True, there were no refills. We faxed your doctor and were waiting for a call back. Your bottle says no refills. The machine told you no refills and we would fax the doctor.
EOP: Now I wasted a trip. You're stupid.

So we call...
EOP: Why did you call me?
Me: Because your refill is due. The automated system wanted to let you know it was ready to be filled and to ask if you wanted us to get it ready.
EOP: No it's not. I still have plenty of pills left. You're stupid.

So we don't call...
EOP: Why didn't you call to tell me my bottle was empty? I've been out for over a week now waiting for your phone call. You're stupid.

So we call...
EOP: Why did you call me?
Me: The computer called to let you know your prescription has been down here waiting to be picked up for 3 days, 7 days, 9 days, 10 days, whatever...
EOP: She didn't tell me what it was. I don't know why the doctor called that in. I don't need it. I don't take it anymore. You people just fill anything, huh? You're stupid.

So we don't call...
EOP: Where is my medication? It was supposed to be here last week.
Me: It was. Your doctor called it in but you never came in for it so we put it back.
EOP: Why didn't anyone call me? I obviously need it. My doctor sent it here didn't he? Must mean he wants me to have it then. Boy, you're stupid.

Others:
Why do you people keep calling me? If I needed it, I'd call it in myself. This is harassment. I'm going to sue you and go somewhere else.
Why don't you people call and tell me when I'm supposed to take my medication. Isn't that your job?
Why didn't you call to tell me my insurance changed? Now I am here and I left the card sitting on my kitchen table. It's all your stupid fault.
Why did you call me to tell me my insurance changed. I know that. I have the card right here.

I could go on...