Reading

CPP: Good Morning, CP!

CP: And good morning to thee as well. 

CPP: What do you have phor us today?

CP: General phuckery. 

CPP: Perfect. Can you be more specific?

CP: People are stupid. 

CPP: Yes. And I reiterate my request to be more specific. 

CP: What do you think is worse: The lack of reading what is right in phront of you? or the lack of reading comprehension?

CPP: Tough one. I'd say it's a tie. As I believe I know what this is about, I'm going to say everyone is a loser. 

CP: Here we go. 

UT: I put a sign on our new SigCap device. 

CP: Is it remarkable?

UT: It is! It's on a large, pretty pink Post-It with fluorescent gel pen. In beautiful, printed handwriting, large letters and all, it says: "NO PEN. USE FINGER TO SIGN." I even added a few little flourishes to draw the eye. 

CP: Phool-Proof! 

UT & CP: hahahahahahahaha

CP: What about our vaccine sign? Did you phreshen that up a bit?

UT: I did. I placed it on the side we don't use at pick-up. It reads: "PLEASE STEP TO DROP OFF WINDOW FOR ALL VACCINES!"

CP: That should keep people away phrom pickup and help us run efficiently. 

UT: No one is going to believe you typed this all with a straight phace. 

CP: <shrugs> Reality Bites. 

CPP: Ok. I see the new signs. UT did a great job. 

UT: <bows> Danke. 

CPP: Back to the reading lesson, CP. What happened?

CP: No one reads the sign on the SigCap device. No one. They will look all around, grab the power cord and yank it, slap the counter in phrustration, and throw their hands in the air and wave them cuz I just don't care before I politely say "phinger" while pointing near the sign.

UT: But you always wait until you've had a good laugh. 

CP: Schadenfreude, baby. It's the little things that bring me joy in this world. 

CPP: And the other sign? 

CP: I love it when people head to drop off and this happens:

CP: "Dropping Off?" 

Didn't Understand My Board: "No. The sign said to come down here". 

CP: No it didn't. 

DUMB: Yes it did. 

CP: Go back and reread it. 

DUMB: <enunciating loudly and deliberately> STEP. TO. DROP. OFF. 

CP: Keep reading. 

DUMB: For. . . oh. 

CP: So, picking up then?

CPP: I see your point. 

CP: I've learned that people either don't read signs or, if they do, they don't comprehend what they read. 

CPP: Short attention spans. 

CP: You should read the book "Death At Yellowstone". There's a great section in there about signs and posters and warnings and people's ignorance of them. 

CPP: So which is worse? Not reading? or Not comprehending?

CP: Well if you don't read you can't mis-comprehend anything. 

CPP: Better to remain silent and be thought a phool than to speak and to remove all doubt. 

CP: Just goes to show, you can lead a man to an education but you can't make him think. 

Or should it be "You can give a man an education but you can't make him take it"?