Facebook and Twitter

and follow my blog on Twitter @pharmacynic to receive notifications on new posts.

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Too Much Stupid

CP: I'm tired of dealing with stupid. 
ME: <wearing shirt that reads "I'm With Stupid> Can't get away phrom it. 
MICE ELF: Hey now. 
CP: I meant phrom a work perspective. It's only gotten worse with each day. 
ME: What prompted this?
MICE ELF: We work with the public. AKA Stupid people. Individual dealings with individual people in controlled settings, not in the wilderness of public spaces, is acceptable but something happens to them in the wild frontier. 
ME: Continue. 
CP: Shots. Shots have made people dumber than I imagined possible. 
MICE ELF: Why don't you just segue into the vignette about it?
CP: Phine.
All Shot Seekers Today Are Causing Our Stress: I need to get my 4th shot; my booster. 
CP: Okay. Which shot did you want?
ASS TACOS: The Covid. 
CP: No shit? Huh. Threw me off with asking for the "4th shot". Was phairly certain you were going to tell me Jager. Which Covid shot?
ASS TACOS: The booster. 
CP: Phuck me. Didn't we go through this with the 3rd shot? Have you learned nothing? Moderna or Pfizer?
ASS TACOS: Moderma. 
CP: <sighs> Moderna it is. Have a seat and I will be with you forthwith. 
<CP walks out and continues sighing>
CP: Which arm would you prefer?
ASS TACOS: Oh <looks at each arm like one of them will suddenly sprout a little hand waving a little flag at me that says "me! me! pick me!"> I don't know. Does it matter?
CP: Not to me. It just has to be one of your arms; not phrom a passerby. 
ASS TACOS: Ok. I guess <keeps looking at them> I guess my Left cuz I'm right-handed. 
CP: Makes as much sense as anything else you could've said. I need to get right <points to the Shot Triangle on the arm> here, so if you could do whatever it takes to phree that patch of skin phor me, I'd appreciate it. 
ASS TACOS: If I hold it up like this, is that okay? 
CP: Not as okay as it would've been had you worn a short-sleeve shirt. This. Is. Your. FOURTH. SHOT! You haven't even had to to phorget the previous one like you do with your phlu shots. It was 4 months ago. How do you survive life at this point? 
ASS TACOS: <confused and a little creeped out> By getting my 4th shot?
CP: Well keep your fingers out of the way. My needle is long enough to go clean through your digits and still administer the shot. You'll just look a little weird walking out with your middle finger pegged to your shoulder. 
ASS TACOS: Think I'll need another shot?
CP: Sure. You'll need lots more. Hopefully, one of these times, you'll remember to dress accordingly, and to be ready by having your arm out when I walk out so as to not waste everyone's time. 

ME: Right? It would be different if this weren't the same process for the last year. This is the 4th shot in a year for people, 5th if you count their phlu shot, yet they act as if they've never been asked these questions.
MICE ELF:  Nor been told where I'm going to stick it.
CP: Maybe we should hang a sign:"If this isn't your first time, you know what to do". 
MICE ELF: I'd be afraid of what I'd walk out to. 
ME: Yeah, ME too. 
CP: Meh, they wouldn't read it anyway, much less comprehend it.



“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” 

George Carlin 


No comments:

Post a Comment