Phone Trees

CP: Have I complained about how much I dislike e-scripts recently?

CPP: It's been a minute. What's not to like?

CP: The users of the software. The programmers too, but mostly the users. 

CPP: That's pretty broad. Narrow it down phor the good phollks at home. Phind Phocus Phor Phuck's Sake. 

CP: Phine. Specifically I wish to complain about the offices that are unreachable when there is an issue, and let's face it, there's always an issue with an e-script; the side effect of so many e-scripts and providers having multiple offices. 

CPP: Like the office we had yesterday. Called the only number on the e-script, the one attached also to the provider in our system, only to phind out he left the practice some time ago. 

CP: Let me guess, they had no idea where he went?

CPP: Yes. But it was the answering service and she knew he still worked in their quick clinic location. While she didn't have a number to provide, she could transfer me. 

CP: Sounds good but. . . ?

CPP: But I was on hold awaiting the transfer and <click>. 

CP: I hate that providers who have multiple offices are somehow able to put only the location of the e-script license as their primary place of prescribing. There was a provider I was trying to phind who worked at 11 different locations; the e-scripts only printed with the main office information. He was never practising at that location and they never knew where he was day to day. 

CPP: You'd think when the provider signed in he'd have to check which location he was working. We don't generate our faxes with the corporate headquarters phone and address on them; it's specific to our location. That's just stupid and a waste of time. 

CP: While I dislike that, and have given up on trying after one phone call attempt (the patient gets the next call and is in charge of playing "now where did my doctor go?") what I loathe more and more is phone trees. 

CPP: You mean because there's rarely the option phor pharmacists with questions about e-scripts?

CP: Yes. That and the confusion they create. 

CPP: How so?

CP: We receive an e-script from Dr. Zoffis. It shows her address and phone number. Period. I call the number only to hear the phollowing options:

If you are calling phor phamily medicine, please press "1"

If you are calling phor internal medicine, please press "2"

If you are calling phor OB/GYN, please press "3"

If you are calling phor Geriatrics, please press "4"

If you are calling phor Behavioural Health, press "5"

Phor Billing, press "6". 

To hear this message again, press "0"

And the message repeats; you are not transferred to a general mailbox or human phor guidance. 

CPP: We have no idea what department the provider is in. I mean we could guess but. . . 

CP: But then you make a choice and you're taken to voicemail instead of being given a list of providers. 

CPP: Just call each of the mailboxes and leave messages as if you're a lost child looking phor her mother. 

CP: <best child voice> Um, this is a pharmacy. I'm trying to phind a doctor. Are you my doctor? 

CPP: Ooh, an Are You My Mother book but phor pharmacists. 

CP: We need offices to offer lines/options specifically phor pharmacists. 

CPP: Nah. We can just keep calling until they get annoyed with us. Then they'll do something. 

CP: Which is why I call the patients to contact the offices. Set the angry patient on them. Not only did they mess up the prescription, but now they won't take our calls. Sic 'em, patient! Sic Balls!