Pick Up!

CP: Welcome to CP's Parade of Pills. How may I help you?

Angry Little Man Sneering: PICK UP

CP: Whoa. Tone it down a bit. I'm a pharmacist; not deaph. 

ALMS: PICK UP. 

CP: I can tell this is going to end well. What's thy name, peasant?

ALMS: Poor. Richard Poor. 

ME: Really? You're going with Poor Dick? 

CP: Shut it. 

ALMS: I called it in 3 hours ago. 

CP: Ok. Let me enter your name in the computer. 

ALMS: It was supposed to be ready when I got here. 

CP: And I just typed your name to verify what you are here to retrieve. What's your DOB?

ALMS: 5/5/75. It's for my Viagra. It was supposed to be here. 

CP: You telling me all of these unhelpful things is really making my computer search faster. I truly appreciate it. Perhaps you could remain silent until I ask you more questions. 

ALMS: I don't see why this is taking so long. 

CP: Because you haven't stopped jabbering since you walked in. I have to get your name and DOB. Then I have to enter them into the system. Then the computer tells me which bin has your prescription(s). Then I retrieve it. The time you called it in and what it is matter not. It does however annoy me because you sound annoyed that I didn't just walk up and pull it from my ass. Like, somehow, you saying "I called it in 3 hours ago" with your little, loud, annoyed tone is going to expedite the work I have to do to sell it to you. 

ALMS: This is ridiculous. 

CP: I agree. Perhaps in the phuture you can speak when spoken to and answer only the questions I ask. You'd make a terrible witness on the stand. You'd incriminate yourself right away when they only asked your name.

"Please state your name."

"Dick Poor. I called in my Viagra 3 hours ago and the pharmacist didn't just hand it to me so I kept yelling at her and threatening her and then I tried to jump the counter and that's when she did a spin kick and knocked me backwards and then hog tied me and held her Katana Spatula 6000 to my throat until the cops showed up to save me."

MICE ELF: That's great. Acting annoyed when you just started typing because they think you're taking too long is similar to them pointing behind you and saying "it's there on the shelf. that's mine right there. just grab it". 

ME: And it's always someone else's prescription.

MICE ELF: Don't tell me how to do my job when you don't even have one. 

CP: Hey, they're just doing their own research and are trying to be helpful as you do yours. 

 

#PharmacyPhuckers