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Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Before the 'But' = After The 'No'

CP: Why is "no" such a difficult word to understand?
CPP: What are we discussing today?
CP: The word "NO". 
CPP: Usually one of the first words we learn as toddlers. 
CP: And a word whose boundaries we, as toddlers, like to continue to push; even more so as adults. 
CPP: No is defined as "not any; a negative response; not at all; to no extent".
CP: Yet people will try to find wiggle room; to attempt to modify or attenuate the meaning by arguing unreasonably. 
CPP: Meghan Trainor had it right when she preempted her potential suitor with "NO". 
CP: Yet he persisted. 
CPP: Like our patients when we tell them "no" to anything. 
CP: Do you have the covid vaccine? NO.
Is my Percocet due today? NO. 
Can I get my refills early? NO. 
Did my prescriber call yet? NO.
All followed with "but, but, but."
CPP: Jon Snow. 
CP: Precisely. I think of a bastardization of his quote to Sansa: "Everything before the word 'but' is horseshit." In this case, "everything AFTER the word 'NO' is horseshit". 

<example conversation (how it should go)>
CPP: Do you have the covid vaccine?
CP: NO. 
CPP: Thank you. 
CP: Good day. 
<end scene, applause for a great performance, curtain. . . right?>
NO. . . 
<Actual Pharmacy Scene>
CP: Do you have the covid vaccine?
CPP: No. 
CP: But I have a medical condition. 
CPP: No. 
CP: I'm 65yo. 
CPP: No. 
CP: I'm diabetic.
CPP: No. 
CP: My doctor said I should get it. 
CPP: No. 
CP: I'm a healthcare worker. 
CPP: No. 
CP: I like to lick doorknobs. 
CPP: Weird. No. 
CP: And shopping carts. 
CPP: No. 
CP: But I needs it. 
CPP: No. 
CP: Your mother was a hamster. 

<repeat. all day. every phone call. every visit.>

CP: Persistence will not reward you. Patience will. 
CPP: All you are doing is delaying my ability to help others. 
CP: Well, to help them by telling them "no". 
CPP: Of course. I wish we had a "no" button on the phone or a digital board that flashed with a big red "NO" or "X" when we hit it. 
CP: It would break in the first hour. 
CPP: Accept the fact that no really means no. 
CP: No always means no.

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