Desperate But Not Really

Not Exactly Exuding Desperation In This Now Are We:  I need to schedule a covid vaccine shot. 

CP: We have yet to receive any in our store. Perhaps you could try the local health department. 

NEED IT? NAW: But I need it!

CP: Oh. In that case. . . I still don't have it. Try next Tuesday when the state updates its website. Maybe we'll all get lucky. I'm up all night to get lucky.

<2 hours later>

NEED IT? NAW: How about now?

CP: Is it next Tuesday yet? 

NEED IT? NAW: No. But I was hoping some may have come in on your shipment. 

CP: No. Pony Express arrives at 1600 hrs. 

<1600 hrs>

NEED IT? NAW: Now?

CP: Tuesday?

NEED IT? NAW: No. Can you add me to your list?

CP: You're on the list. We actually had to stop adding people because we aren't sure when we are going to receive vaccine and we expect only 100 shots. More people than that would be unmanageable. 

NEED IT? NAW: So I'm on the list? 

CP: You are at the top. We even put a start by your name. 

NEED IT? NAW: I'm a star?

CP: Sure. That's what it means.

<lather, rinse, repeat 7 times per day for 10 days>

 

CP: <calling NEED IT? NAW; leaves message> We have it now. Please complete the paperwork online and call us to schedule your appointment time. 

<2 hrs later>

CP: Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone home? 

<2 hrs later>

CP: Hello? This is the United States calling. Are we reaching?

Uber Tech: No answer?

CP: Nope. 

UT: Nice. Calls us every 42 minutes for two solid weeks asking about vaccine appointments and when we finally get them, he doesn't answer or call back. 

CP: Did he receive it elsewhere? Or he just happened to spend today as his phone-phree holiday?

<2 days later>

NEED IT? NAW: Do you have the vaccine yet?

CP: We did. All 100 shots have been appointed. 

NEED IT? NAW: Why didn't I get one? 

CP: You need to answer your phone. We left 7 messages and sent a text. 

NEED IT? NAW: I ignore the texts and don't answer my phone.

CP: We can put you on the list for the next round. 

NEED IT? NAW: When will those arrive? 

CP: No clue. But don't call us. We will definitely call you. Just make sure you answer your phone. I'm sure you have our number in there. Maybe change our pharmacy name to "COVID TIME" so when it rings you know to answer it.