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Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Texting. Texting 1, 2, 3. Texting!

CP: Good Day, Ma'am. 
Mad At Us Needs Daily Early Refills: Y'all done messed me up. 
CP: Sorry. I'll take back the Good Day then, shall I? Perhaps I shall sport a withering glare to match thine own?
MAUNDER: <harrumphs>
CP: Anything in particular or just our presence in our pharmacy mess you up?
MAUNDER: I'm not getting my textseses. 
CP: Texts not being received. Got it. Allow me to check on this for you. 
MAUNDER: They're not working. 
CP: <verifies phone number>
MAUNDER: Yeah, that's it but they still ain't coming. 
CP: I checked your enrollment as well. The box is checked to sign you up, acknowledging your acceptance of our texts. Try turning your phone off then back on. 
MAUNDER: I'll be back tomorrow. 

CP: Happy to see you again!
MAUNDER: Snuff it. I'm still not getting them and I'm really angry with you. 
CP: I shall self-flagellate in penance for our computer's stubborn refusal to deny you your texts. 
MAUNDER: Are you mocking me?
CP: Not exactly. Just trying to match your assessment and approach to the urgency of your situation. Shall we try something else?
MAUNDER: What is it?
CP: I just sent you another text. Check your phone now. 
MAUNDER: I left it at home. 
CP: Of course you did. When you come back to pick up this prescription, bring the uncooperative phone. Perhaps we can place it near my computer and we can offer them counseling, or an intervention. 
MAUNDER:<glares menacingly>

<2 hours later>
CP: Welcome Lady MAUNDER and her odious iPhonious. Did you receive the texts?
MAUNDER: <sheepishly sullen> No. 
CP: Your attitude has changed from your previous visits. Do we still need to get these devices into therapy?
CP: Pray tell. What epiphany had you?
MAUNDER: <whispers> I didn't pay my phone bill. 
CP: You. . . Didn't pay? . . . Your phone bill?
CP: And you didn't notice for 2 days? 
MAUNDER: Uh-huh. 
CP: Seems like punishment enough. Though self-flagellation always hits home. Remember, I can only send them to you; I can't receive them for you. Go forth and get thee to a nunnery!
MAUNDER: <confused look>
CP: Or somewhere to pay your bill. Off you pop!

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