Time Is An Illusion

Uber Tech: <training The Nu Tech> Here, we tell people a time to return, not the generic "15 to 30 minutes" or "Next Tuesday" like your average Chain Gangers.

The Nu Tech: Why?

UT: Perception. People will walk from the drop off window to the pickup window, 6 whole feet and believe hours of time have elapsed. They won't check the time on their phones or on the car radio. They will return when they feel it has been "15 minutes". Just ask CP. 

CP: What?

UT: I was telling TNT why we tell return times and not wait times. 

CP: It's due to men. 

TT: Men?

CP: Yes. They warp time and convince others more time has passed, or will pass, than actually has. 

UT: Tell her the anecdote. 

 

CP: UT once said "that'll be 10 minutes". The patient, a woman, strolled down to pickup. I asked if I could help with something and she, pointing at UT, said "she told me '10 minutes'". I replied "it's not even been three seconds."

Pt: "Well it felt like 10 minutes."

CP: I bet you have this conversation with your boyfriend too. Here, we prefer to under-promise and over-deliver.

Pt: <snickers>

TNT: <snickers>

-----

 

Pt: My inhaler is out. 

CP: You need a refill. 

Pt: I do. 

CP: You have no refills. 

Pt: But I need it. 

CP: <gesticulates with Spatula Wand-O-Matic while chanting> But She Neeeeeeeeds It. Om!

Pt: WTF was that?

CP: Trying to summon your refill from the "ButSheNeedsIt" Demon. 

Pt: You need to call my doctor. 

CP: Au contraire. I faxed them, but I don't need to call them. 'Tis your provider and your prescription.  

Pt: This is ridiculous. I am out and I need it. 

CP: You should probably stop arguing; you need the Oxygen.