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Friday, August 23, 2019

Flu Shot Season

DM: It's flu shot time!
CP: Already?
DM: Yes. Why haven't you met your quota yet?
CP: It's August. I got them yesterday.
DM: And your goal is 1082.
CP: Rather arbitrary, don't you think?
DM: Scientifically proven to be obtainable this year.
CP: Not sure what science you're using. Sounds more in line with L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology. Besides, you only sent me one box of shots.
DM: All you have to do is ask and people will throw themselves at you.
CP: Yeah. That didn't work for me getting dates in high school so I doubt it'll work now.
DM: Everyone wants one, they just need to be asked.
CP: When is the last time you worked in a store and twisted patients' arms to get flu shots?
DM: If you don't ask, you don't care.
CP: I ask. And despite getting rejected almost as much as I did in college, I keep asking but people still say "no". Great for the self-esteem.
DM: Why?
CP: For whatever reason, perhaps decades of marketing to people to get their flu shots in October, people want to wait. Patients and prescribers have it stuck in their heads that October is flu shot month.
DM: But all you have to do is ask, and inform them.
CP: I know. The CDC recommends the flu shot to be administered as soon as it is available. I know this. You know this. Others do not and don't care what we tell them. Once old people in particular get an idea in their heads, it is nigh on impossible to change their minds. They know only two things: Early Bird Dinner times at all the local restaurants and October is flu shot month.
DM: What about all the other people?
CP: There are a few insurances that won't pay until September or October.
DM: So focus on the other people.
CP: Sure. Did you get yours yet?
DM: I'm waiting.
CP: For what? Here are the excuses I have received so far and we are only 1 week in to the 2019-20 campaign.
a. I get mine at my doctor.
b. I get mine for free at work.
c. I already got mine.
d. I want it to last all season so I always get mine in October.
e. I am in the 55% of persons annually who never get a flu shot.
f. I'm not mentally prepared to receive it today.
g. I don't believe in them.
DM: You have to try harder.
CP: Why? I believe in flu shots. As long as my patients get them somewhere, anywhere, then that is all that matters. I hate doing business with places that force their employees to push services on their customers. I know what is available. I know what I want. I know I can return for other services should I so desire. After awhile, it gets to be annoying. Companies have marketing departments. Honestly, if people don't know by now they can receive a flu shot, or any other vaccine at any pharmacy in the country, then they've been living under a rock.
DM: You don't care about your patients.
CP: Right. I only care about filling the other 500 Rx's safely and accurately today. If patients miss the 11 signs, counter stickers and mats, syringe-juggling clown, and neon sign on their circuitous journey to my counter, me pleading to stab them won't help me get a flu shot from them.
DM: I'm watching you.
CP: Before you go. . .
DM: Yes?
CP: <sings> Do you wanna get a flu shot?

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