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Monday, September 29, 2014

Fast Cash

Thanks to Corporate Greed, what should have been viewed as a worthwhile service, an important function of our jobs, has been relegated to the "you want fries with that?" suggestive sell.
Flu shots are important.
Getting one is important.
Waiting for 15 to 20 minutes to get one? Not so much...

I came up with a plan to deal with this scenario I had over the weekend.

Impatient Lady: I want a flu shot.
CP: Certainly. That will help me reach my quota. Please simply fill out this important, required questionnaire and I will process it for you.
IL: How long?
CP: About 20 minutes from start to stick.
IL: <throws paper and pen back> What? I want it now! Why do I have to wait? I'm going somewhere else.
CP: Okay, Veruca Salt. You do realize that the next closest pharmacy is a 20 minute drive, right? Plus you have to storm out of here, walk to your car, drive there, park there, go in there, wait in line there AND be told it'll be 20 minutes, right? Just making sure you have thoroughly thought through your hasty decision.
IL: <storms off>

It was then that I decided to revisit my Disney FastPass post from last year.
What if we offered "instant flu shots"? No waiting?
I don't mean a flu clinic where people still have to wait in line. (We used to have clinics where people would ask how long. I averaged 3 minutes per shot if all the paperwork was completed. Sorry, but the 20th person in line? He has an hour wait.)

I mean instant, shoot-em-up now flu shots.

IL: I want a flu shot.
CP: Certainly.
IL: How long?
CP: 20 minutes.
IL: What?! I can't wait that long. I have ice cream in the car with my baby who is on his way to the airport to fly to a dentist appointment for which he needs an antibiotic filled at another pharmacy one hour beforehand and the appointment is in 30 minutes.
CP: Wow. Well in that case, I have an alternative for you.
IL: What's that?
CP: Instant flu shot.
IL: Yes. Yes. I'll take it! How's it work?
CP: I walk with you into that little room over there, grab my syringe I pre filled this morning, and as I am helping you fill out the questionnaire, I am prepping you for the shot. I do all the hard work so you don't have to wait.
IL: I like this. Let's go.
CP: One catch.
IL: What's that?
CP: It costs $60.00
IL: What? All pharmacies are charging less than $30.00 for their flu shots.
CP: I know. But they are also making you wait...and wait...and wait...and fill out your own paperwork. Then they are billing your insurance. I am offering you a reasonable solution to your self-inflicted problem of poor time management. Your choice is simple: Wait 20 minutes or pay for the expedited, Platinum Club service. Maybe I'll even let you pick out your own BandAid...for free!

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