You Can't Get There From Here

Did you ever wonder how some people get through a day? Just how some people get from point A to point B all by themselves? I've noticed different types of habits among people who enter a store in search of a certain product. There are people who look and look and look but never ask anyone for help and will even leave the store empty-handed rather than draw up the courage to ask. There are the other extreme, though. These people walk looking straight ahead, focused on finding not the product, but a person to ask where the product is. These are the ones that amaze me. Despite the pharmacy department's location in the back corner of many stores and having to navigate a warren of aisles to get there, they come to us first. My answer? Look up! There are signs everywhere.

How did you get here? Did you stop outside my front door and ask random passersby for the location of my store? How did you navigate the streets?
It's not even that it may be easier, and quicker, to ask someone. This may be true. The fact that people walk from one end of a store to the complete opposite end just to ask the pharmacy is insane. The odds are quite good they've passed the item they seek.

I once had a lady walk in the front door, make a right turn into the store, pass a giant display of newspapers, walk past the cash registers, turn left along the coolers and follow it all the way to the back corner, turn left in front of my windows, walk to my counter, and ask me where the newspapers were.

Since when did we become "Customer Service"? (Since corporations started tracking it!) Or the "Information" kiosk like they have at the mall? We are not the all-knowing inventory/stocking gurus you perceive us to be. Ask me about flu shots. I have a button, glowing like Rudolph's Nose on my sharp, starched, pressed, white straightjacket. Or about medications. Seriously, ask me about them. I went to school to learn about them. Maybe I should have a button that says that! I shall adorn my vestments with pieces of flair that truly reflect the reason for my existence.

"Ask Me About Medications"

"Ask me about Other Vaccinations, for once, please?"

"I Don't Practice Santeria"

"I will NOT call your doctor for a refill"

"I will NOT give you a few for the weekend"

"I don't want to be your fall-back crutch"

"If you ask, you must take my recommendations and advice. Period"

"Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage"

"Despite my cage, I am not an animal. I am a Pharmacist!"

"I know why the caged bird sings...or plays Pandora all day"

"Please Feed the Animals...Please!"

But Corporate wouldn't allow it. One, because it was not their idea. Two, because it stinks of revolution...like Katniss and the berries.