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Friday, December 3, 2021

Don't Know What's Missing

VS: I need my whole profile transferred to you. 
CP: Sounds good. How many medications am I expecting? 
VS: All of them. 
CP: Any names to clue me in?
VS: All of them. 
CP: They must have royally pissed you off, eh?
VS: Hosers!
CP: Right. Ok. Careful what you wish phor. 
VS: Huh? 
CP: I shall call those philthy pig dogs and request "a profile transfer" as you wished. 
VS: Good then. 
<hour later>
VS: Did you receive my profile?
CP: Yes. We received all 6 prescriptions. 
VS: Why aren't they all there?
CP: As far as I know, they are. They sent us 6. 
VS: "We are not off to a good start."
CP: Well if the old pharmacy had issues, and our only discussions thus far have been about transferring your profile, and you are already experiencing issues, I'm going to suggest the problem may not be the pharmacy. 
VS: Are you saying it's my fault?
CP: Nope. Merely implied there may be a common denominator. Anyhow, as I attempted to elicit earlier, can you indicate anything about your profile? Names? Number of Rx's? What they treat? 
VS: I need everything. 
CP: Well we see how well that worked the first time. Perhaps the phault lies with the pharmacy you are leaving and not of the new one you selected. Mayhap it would behoove you to call them yourself to prod them along?
<hour later>
<phone rings>
<nose goes ensues>
Uber-Tech: NOT IT!
CP: Damn. . . Did you call them? 
VS: I did. 
CP: And?
VS: They said they'd send my insulin over. 
CP: Anything else I can expect?
VS: I know I had at least 12 or more. 
CP: Uh-huh. So that's 12 total? Or 18 total: original 6 plus at least 12 more?
VS: Whatever they send you. Just fill it and I'll call back to see if you don't fill anything. I'll watch on the app. 
CP: I can only fill what they send me. I don't know what I am requesting so I don't know what they are not sending. 
VS: That makes no sense. 
CP: And this is why you have problems at the pharmacy. May I offer you our special transfer deal?
VS: Okay. What is it? 
CP: I will receive all of your prescriptions from Phormer Pharmacy and, phor phree, transfer them to another pharmacy phor you. This way, we can skip right past the phirst date anxieties and awkward sex and skip right to breaking up but without all the emotional drain and drama?
VS: Sure.Where?
CP: Who have you not dated yet?
VS: Um. . . 

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