Illusory

Irritating Seer Explaining Ephemera Now: I am here to pick up my subscription. 

CP: Prescription. We are doms, not subs.

ISEEN: Perscription. 

CP: PRE-scription. We come first. 

ISEEN: Is it here?

CP: No. 

ISEEN: But she sent it? 

CP: How do you know?

ISEEN: I seen it. 

CP: Saw it. 

ISEEN: Huh. 

CP: Like the old man with the hammer? 

ISEEN: Huh? 

CP: "I see", said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw. 

ISEEN: Um. . . 

CP: Or Caesar? "Veni, Vidi, Vici"? We came, We saw, We conquered? 

ISEEN: I watched her send it. 

CP: Eyewitness testimony is unreliable. I cannot accept your account. It is biased with prejudice. 

ISEEN: I just want to know where it is!

CP: I watched a magician make something disappear. But did it? I may call him prestidigital, but I don't believe anything really disappeared. 

ISEEN: What did I watch? 

CP: The back of her computer while she was texting her girlfriends about meeting for drinks after work.

ISEEN: So is it here? 

CP: No.

ISEEN: This is such a pain. 

CP: In the immortal word of the great, mystical poet, MJK, "All this pain is an illusion."