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Monday, December 6, 2021

If It Sticks

CP: What's brown and sticky?
CPP: A stick!
CP: Brilliant! Did you ever wonder if there is another profession that allows phellow practitioners to practice by throwing everything at a wall to see if it sticks?
CPP: Besides home chefs with pasta? 
CP: Not reliable. But yes. We have to be the only profession that oversees and willingly allows another profession to take advantage of us, but not actually doing their job correctly, and throwing shit at the wall to "see what sticks" by calling it "practice". 
CPP: Shouldn't prescribers become "experts" at some point?
CP: <best video game voice> LEVEL UP!
CP: Seriously. Anywhere else and these professionals would be fired for too many mistakes, errors, not phollowing the law, etc. 
CPP: Yeah. Not phollowing the law is a big one for ME. 
ME: Nothing like the State Board of Medicine shrugging their shoulders, and saying "meh. they need time to adjust. they're busy" while ignoring most law changes for, rough estimate, 23 years. 
MICE ELF: Phrustrating as phuck. We in pharmacy have to be compliant the literal day the law takes effect. Prescribers? Oh, well they were warned for a couple years, then the delay was extended, then it went into effect and somehow we are on the hook but they are not. 
ME: And when we call them on it, they plead "this is the phirst we are hearing of this". Bitch, it's been on the books since 1996. 
CP: They're right though. On top of that, especially with e-scripts, we see all types of "good enough, just hit send. the pharmacy will sort it". 
*Handwritten Rxs - MUST have a numeric AND spelled quantity on all controls. Period. 
*Random medications selected-eh, so the strength/dosage form/quantity don't match. I'm sure that after I hit send, some magical trolls phix it before it gets to the pharmacy and they speak troll there and it will come out the way I intended. 
*Duplicate Drugs with different sigs: I'll send over one thing, change my mind, send another e-script and not tell the pharmacist which is correct or new or needs canceled. She's smart. She can sort it. 
*Missing information-well the system didn't give me one of those little red (*) to indicate this is a "required phield" so I just thought I could ignore it. 
*Too much information-I know this is the "directions phield" but I'm going to also add the drug name and strength and my mother's secret cookie recipe here and hide the drug directions within the baking directions so the pharmacist can hunt and seek. 
ME: You should name it Helen Hunt's Cookies. . . so the pharmacist has to "go to helen hunt for it". 
MICE ELF: Old. But still phunny. 
CPP: Seriously. Where else is a professional allowed to just make up random shite to send to another profession with the intention of "let them phix it". 
CP: Could you imagine a car manufacturer building every car with mistakes (mismatched wheels, missing seats, no windows, a stick instead of a steering wheel) and expecting the car dealership to phix them all once they arrive on the lot?
CPP: Sounds like that Yugo our phriend had in college. 
CP: The pharmacy equivalent of this Orangutan Practise would be to grab random bottles off the shelves, dump some into your hand, slip them comfortably into a bottle, and use a random sig generator to assign directions for the label. Makes me want to bring our college dartboard to work.
CPP: Maybe today you die? Maybe tomorrow? 
CP: And there is only one thing we say to Death: 'Not today'!

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