Set An Alarm

CP: Did you ever wonder if people set their alarms to call people?

CPP: How do you mean? 

CP: Remember when we had that Level 3 Snow Emergency? The one where roads were closed to all but emergency personnel? 

CPP: Yeah. That was a helluva drive home after work. 

CP: We had patients come to the pharmacy that day. 

CPP: Yeah! We talked about how they must wake up in the morning and, all else be damned, continue with their routines because it is pharmacy day! 

CP: <in my best Backyardigans Racing Day imitation voice> Refill Day! It's Refill Day! Nothing will stop them. 

CPP: Why are we revisiting this?

CP: There must be people out there who set alarms to call us. "Is it refill day yet?"

CPP: I see. Like Anita Knapp?

CP: Yeah. She should just stay in bed. She's called every day this week. "Is my refill due yet?" NO! We just filled it yesterday! It's not due for 29 more days. Please don't call me every day for the next 29 days. 

CPP: She will. 

CP: I know she will. We need to ask them to get a wall calendar and write on it, each day for the next 28 days "DO NOT CALL PHARMACY TODAY". Then, on Day 29, tell her to write "CALL PHARMACY TODAY!!! GO TO PHARMACY!!! IT'S REFILL DAY!!!". 

CPP: I don't think it will work. 

CP: Why not? 

CPP: People program themselves. 

CP: True. People are mad that holidays interfere with their "refill day". People were surprised we were closed. "What am I supposed to do?", they'd ask. Oh, I don't know, come in a day earlier? A day later? And this is people who always filled their regular medications exactly 2 days early, every month, without fail. It wasn't even control medications. 

CPP: There should be an app for that. 

CP: Or a way to charge people for so many calls in a certain time period. 

CPP: Like the woman who called us 21 times on Thursday? 

CP: Right? Like, I have stuff to do, lady. While I appreciate you advocating for your prescriptions and calling your insurance for yourself, I have 500 other people who need me. Save it up and call me later when you have all of your thoughts composed.

CPP: Like those people who send multiple, one-line texts?

CP: Exactly! Write me the paragraph, reread it, hit "send" once. I can't handle the anticipation and incessant interruptions. 

CP & CPP: Refill Day! It's Refill Day!

#ThisIsWhyYourPrescriptionTakesSoLong