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Thursday, November 18, 2021

If The Real World Worked. . . An Outline

Look Again Before Interrupting Another: You didn't fill my prescription. 
CP: I most certainly did. 
LABIA: Did not. 
CP: Look, I'm not playing this game with you. 
LABIA: But I don't have it. 
CP: I filled it two days ago. I have video of myself bagging it. I sent it out for delivery. We have drone footage of the delivery driver handing it to you. Of you receiving it in your bathrobe and bunny slippers. Of you scratching your ass then flipping off my driver and drone. 
LABIA: Well I don't have it. 
CP: Why don't you look again? I'll hold. 
<90 seconds later>
LABIA: Oh. I put it in my planter when I came inside. 
CPP: Always. Without fail. 
CP: This begs the question if people do this anywhere else. Can you imagine this conversation?
LABIA: I lost my car keys. 
LABIA: You didn't give them to me. 
CARVANA: You took the keys, drove your car into your driveway, twirled them around your finger and shouted to your family "the new car is here!". I watched you. I have dashcam footage of you in your bathrobe and bunny slippers walking into the house. 
LABIA: Well I don't believe you gave them to me. 
CARVANA: You can believe anything you want, that still won't make it true. 

CPP: Right? Can you imagine how many car dealers would get "I can't find my keys" calls if our patients acted like they do at the pharmacy?
CP: Hopefully they don't keep their keys next to their medications. 
CPP: They'd always be falling into the toilet or sink. 
CP: At least their keys could be fished from either of those. 
CPP: Can you just give me a new set of keys?
CP: It's your fault I don't have them. You HAVE to give me them!
CPP: I'm going to DIE! if you don't give them to me right now!
CP: Let me guess, you want me to deliver them too?


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