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Wednesday, November 11, 2020


CP: Welcome. 
Demands A Miracle Now: I need the Heavy Duty Flu Shot. 
CP: I can use an 18g needle to administer it but that's as heavy duty as we get here. 
DAMN: No. I need the high dose flu shot. 
CP: Oh. In that case, we are out of stock. 
DAMN: When will you get more?
CP: I have no idea. 
DAMN: You suck. 
CP: Well, it is the middle third of November; the month after the unofficial month for flu shots. 
DAMN: This is ridiculous!
CP: Did you learn a lesson today?
DAMN: Yeah. Not to get my shot here. 
CP: Wrong lesson. How about "Premature Inoculation"?
DAMN: What? I don't have that. 
CP: No. Premature Inoculation; getting your shot earlier in the season, say September, when most pharmacies still have the shot in stock.
DAMN: I don't want it too early. It needs to last all year. 
CP: Any time during peak shot months (September or October) is perfect; though I would encourage late September. And that's like knowing your grandkids want the new, hottest toy-of-the-year and waiting until Christmas Eve to buy it. Tis the season. Or using a condom after you're pregnant. Or turning on your turn signal halfway into the turn.
DAMN: I'm never getting my shot here again!
CP: If you didn't actually get one today, is that really a threat? I wonder how many places you visited who gave you the same answer. 
DAMN: This is my 4th pharmacy today that doesn't have it!
CP: Here endeth the lesson.*

*If you choose to wait, it may be too late.

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