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Thursday, April 30, 2020

This Is Not Phor You

UT: This is not for you.
CP: Singing again? PJ?
UT: Yeah. Just remembered the conversation we had about clothes and peoples' selections regarding trends.
CP: About how, just because it's available in your size doesn't mean you should try to wear it?
UT: Exactly.
CP: What prompted this?
UT: The drive thru.
CP: How, if your window doesn't work, perhaps the drive thru isn't for you?
UT: Right. If if won't go down, it's frozen, or it's otherwise broken, the drive thru is not a service you can utilize at the moment.
CP: If you have no arms, perhaps picking up a hobby like darts, knitting, or sword fighting would be outside the best-suited for your available skill set.
UT: Yet if they were pharmacy patrons, they'd complain we should accommodate them even though their windows don't work.
CP: None shall pass!
UT: You've got no arms!
CP: Yes I have.
UT: Just a flesh wound.
CP: They always say "but it's cold outside" or "my dog is in the car", or "I'm just lazy".
UT: No one ever admits that last one.
CP: Until our drive-thru closed for repairs at one of my stores, I would have sworn some of these people didn't have legs. I'd never seen them standing.
UT: "You can come inside."
CP: "No I can't."
UT: "Why not?"
CP: "No legs."
UT: "Who's working the pedals?"
CP: "Willie."
UT: Lame. Must've had some TADA-lafil. . .
CP: Or you could have the person who entered our lane backwards.
UT: Backwards?
CP: Well, he pulled in so his passenger, whose window did work, could drop off his prescription.
UT: At which point you scolded him on his no-no maneuver.
CP: At which point he left, only to return 15 minutes later. . . pulled in the exact same way.
UT: And did he hit someone?
CP: Nearly. He thought it wise to gun it out of the lane before anyone could enter. Only he managed to miscalculate his timing and nearly gunned it broadside into a little old lady.
UT: The general public is horrible. The public in cars is worse. It's especially apparent during this whole quarantine.
CP: These are the same people Walmart expects to drive a cart correctly down their one-way aisles.
UT: As if I needed another reason to avoid that place.

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