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Thursday, April 23, 2020


CP's Partner: What are you ruminating about this fine morning?
CP: Miracle workers.
CPP: Anne Sullivan?
CP: More along the lines of the JCCP.
CP: Yes. The Junior Christ Club of Pharmacy.
CPP: Oh. Explain.
CP: The JCCP is that group of miracle workers who have been turning 30 days supplies into 90 days, or greater, supplies, since at least Babylonian times.
CPP: You do know Ancient Babylon predates Jesus by. . .
CP: Shhh. You get the point. They changed names over the centuries.
CPP: What spurred this today?
CP: With the quarantine, people apparently had a lot of time on their hands and were digging deep into their medicine cabinets looking for medications to refill. Either that or they only now discovered that something they take every day was finally empty. That, and this conversation:

Man On Phone Yelling: I need this refill for my wife.
CP: She is out of refills.
MOPY: (shouting to Lady In Another Room) You're out of refills.
LIAR: (shouting back to MOPY) I can't be. I take it every day.
CP: We last filled it in September. . . of 2019 for a 30 days supply. She should have been out last October.
MOPY: (shouting) You filled it last September. You should have been out 6 months ago.
LIAR: (Shouting) I just took my last one!
MOPY: She says she just took her last one.
CP: I didn't realise she was a member of the JCCP. Unless she changed her dose to once week, that is the only way she could have made 30 tablets last 210 days, or 30 weeks, and to have taken the final dose yesterday.
MOPY: It says on here "March 17th, 2020".
CP: Right. That's when the refills expire. Check the fill date next to the Rx# on the right side.
MOPY: (mumbles) "9/19/19". (shouting) How the hell have you been taking these?!
LIAR: (shouting) Every Day!
CP: I faxed the prescriber for you. If she can't complete another miracle and turn the empty bottle into a full bottle, I suggest you also ring the refill line and request a renewal.
MOPY: Okay.
CP: I'd also suggest you retract her application for Sainthood.

CPP: I think the manufacturers should hire from within the JCCP. Imagine what they could do for our patients during all these manufacturer backorders.
CP: We never would have run out of Albuterol MDI or ARBs, or anything ever again!


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