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Thursday, May 7, 2020

. . . But. . .

CPP: What's new in CP's brain today?
CP: An interaction UT had the other day. More like most of the interactions UT has throughout the day. And phone calls we receive. And patients with whom we interact. Basically people in general.
CPP: This is rather a broad subject. Explain.
CP: You're my favourite partner and I've really enjoyed working with you these past years and we've shared some remarkable times together. . .
CPP: Are you about to "but" me?
CP: I am. To explain a point.
CPP: You know your "but" renders everything that precedes it as bullshit, right?
CP: Yes. My but is most powerful.
CPP: Moving on. . .
CP: I'm using my powerful but to demonstrate UT's issue.
CPP: Which is?
CP: During patient interactions, anything said by the patient that follows our answer is superfluous, unnecessary information.
CPP: Once we reply "No. We have not received your prescription", everything the patient says is drivel.
CP: Precisely. There is no case to plead. This conversation has ended. I made a statement.
CPP: Like arguing with a woman: anything that comes after she says "fine" is the start of a new argument; another you will certainly lose.
CP: To wit:

PT: I am here to pick up my prescriptions. Did my doctor send them for me?
CP: No. We have not received them today. Thank you and Good Day!
PT: He said I need to start them as soon as I get them.
CP: Uh-huh.
PT: He said he was calling it in as soon as I hung up with him.
CP: Mmm-hmmm.
PT: I'm supposed to be going out of town.
CP: <starts filing nails> K.
PT: I don't know why he didn't send it yet.
CP: <blows on nails> Mmmmm.
PT: I wonder when he's going to send it.
CP: Do you need me here for this part or can I move on to another of the myriad of tasks I have waiting for me?

CPP: As you said, everything after our answer is meaningless.
CP: Honestly, we don't even need to be present. I feel like walking away from the drive-thru or placing the phone on the counter while people continue their one-person internal monologue out loud. "Since you don't appear to need me for this, I'm going to step aside and get back to work. Don't call me. I'll call you."
CPP: Sounds like all the brush offs you got in high school and college.
CP: Thanks, Butt.

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