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Monday, January 6, 2020

Now You See It. . . Or Not

Uber-Tech: You seem to be the type of person who enjoys playing fetch with dogs.
CP: I don't.
UT: You didn't let me finish. I was going to say, you seem to be the type of individual who would fake throwing the stick to the dog simply to derive pleasure from its confusion.
CP: Ah. Yes. That's more like me. Why the peculiar setup for this next post?
UT: It felt necessary; better than a cold opening.
CP: We could have simply put <fade in> or other screenplay-type directions.

<an average pharmacy in an average town; a lady approaches>

<the bell above the door rings as she enters>

CP: Welcome to Pill Pauper's Paradise. How may I help you today?
Comprehension Is An Obstacle: I am here to pick up my prescriptions.
CP: Glory be! We are happy to be your pharmacy of choice.
CIAO: I didn't have much say.
CP: In that case, we are happy to be your pharmacy of obligation! What is your name?
CIAO: Bella.
CP: Of course it is. I do have 2 prescriptions here for you.
CIAO: My doctor sent 3. Where is the other one?
CP: I do not know. I do know that I have 2 for you.
CIAO: Which one is missing?
CP: The 3rd one.
CIAO: Well he sent it, so I don't see the problem.
CP: Well I didn't receive it. Since my business is filling prescriptions I receive and not NOT filling prescriptions, I'm going to posit that I did not receive it, else I would have filled it.
CIAO: Well he sent it.
CP: Yet here we are. I have an idea.
CIAO: Okay.
CP: Let's play catch.
CIAO: I'm not sure what this has to do with my missing prescription.
CP: Step back.
CIAO: <steps back>
CP: <winds up and lobs a handful of air towards CIAO> Did you catch it?
CIAO: <flinching> What? No? You didn't throw anything!
CP: I did. Your 3rd prescription. Either you missed it, you dropped it, it was intercepted by gnomes, or I threw it somewhere else.
CIAO: What is your problem?
CP: So many answers to this. Yet germane to this conversation is the following: I don't have your prescription any more than you have something I threw at you. If I had actually thrown something, you'd have it. Yet you do not. Now, you can either accept that I do not in fact have your prescription and that your prescriber failed to send it, or you can continue helplessly volleying air with me.
CIAO: <to UT> You must hate working here.
UT: I find it rather enjoyable and amusing actually. You can give people answers but just because they don't like them does not make them any less true. These helpful analogies may seem petulant, but are quite illustrative. Sometimes the light clicks while other times, the bulb needs changed.

<2 hours later>
CIAO: Turns out my doctor only wanted me to have two prescriptions. He didn't send the 3rd one.
CP: Peculiar, innit? At least we had a rollicking good back and forth earlier.
CIAO: Indeed.
CP: Can you throw back your 3rd prescription I tossed to you? I'm going to need it for someone else.
CIAO: Sure.
CP: Sometimes, when "no" or a simple explanation seem to not suffice, a more orchestrated, demonstrative answer seems to be in order.

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