Listen, Process, Act Accordingly

CP: Thank you phor calling CP's Pill Palace. This is CP, Head Pill Pauper. How may I help you? 

Ignores Me And Then Wastes All Time: My patient called and said her insurance didn't cover her eye drops.

CP: Correct. 

IMATWAT: Is there a generic you can give? 

CP: That is the generic.

IMATWAT: Is there a coupon or GoodRx card you can use? 

CP: We tried a couple of the cards we had on hand and that was the best price. 

IMATWAT: Can you try a generic or a coupon? 

CP: Again, we did. How do you think we do our jobs here? That is what we do. You write it. We fill it in generic if one is available. The insurance pays, or they don't. We try a discount card and tell the patient the price. They either pay it, or they don't. 

IMATWAT: Is there anything else you can do? 

CP: What about what you can do? You can change the drug.

IMATWAT: But is there anything else you can do to help her? 

CP: Like what? I can't make the patient pay for it but YOU can change the drug. We have exhausted all of our options. The only thing keeping the patient from receiving this is the $50.00 cash price.

IMATWAT: Well the doctor says she has to have this one. Is there a coupon?

CP: Now you're just being ignorant. You keep saying that like I'm a phucking phairy and I can just wave my sparkle-shooting spatula across the computer and make it affordable for the patient. She has Medicaid so any amount greater than $0.00 is going to be too much for her. How about you turn around and treat the doctor like you're treating me? Say something like: "can't you change it? isn't there an alternative? can you give 2 separate drops instead? can you check the formulary? can YOU find her a coupon? can you just pay for them for her?". 

IMATWAT: Well he said she has to have these. 

CP: Then we are at an impasse and your prescriber is a tool. Not sure why she NEEDS tobradex but I can tell you what is going to happen. If he doesn't change the prescription, the patient won't pay the $50.00 and she won't receive or use the drops the doctor deemed she MUST have! In that case, the consequences of his inaction will be HIS fault alone. I did what I could for her and I can't make her pay me the $50.00. The ball is back in his court but do not try to blame me or act as if I am not trying to take care of my patient. 

IMATWAT Fine. I'll talk to him. 

Uber-Tech: Well done. 

CP: Really? It still feels as if she was trying to blame me for not helping. 

UT: How many times did she tell you to "just GoodRx it"? 

CP: Enough that I was afraid she wasn't listening or she has a comprehension defect.

UT: Remind me never to go to that office. 

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