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Friday, December 11, 2015


Compare and contrast. I always hated those words when I was school. As we get older and our experiences broaden, we are more able to understand how to argue points.
At least I thought that to be true. Until yesterday...

Pretty Sure It's Comparing Oranges: Will this new medication work for me?
CP: Possibly. It's designed to give you relief all day as opposed to just 4-6 hours at a time.
PSICO: I have a whole collection of expensive medications that didn't do shit.
CP: Well, shit happens. So hopefully these will do shit. See you in 15 minutes.

<PSICO strolls down to pickup>
Uber-Tech: Any questions for the pharmacist today?
PSICO: Are these going to help?
UT: I heard you talking to the pharmacist. Stop back by the counsel window on your way.
PSICO: Why are these so cheap?
UT: Not sure. Ask CP.
<PSICO pulls in at Consultation Station>

CP: Hello.
PSICO: Hello, it's me. I was wondering...
CP: Stop it.
PSICO: I already know these aren't going to work.
CP: Okay. I'll bite. Why are these not going to work?
PSICO: The Gabapentin I picked up last time cost me $35.79.
CP: Okay.
PSICO: The Morphine you just sold me only cost $19.96.
CP: Okay. That's good. It cost less.
PSICO: No. It's inferior.
CP: Sorry?
PSICO: Haven't you ever bought something in a store and knew it was different from the top-of-the-line stuff? Like Ragu.
CP: Ragu is top-of-the-line?
PSICO: Yes. And then you buy the stuff next to it that's not as expensive and it's all watered down and nowhere near the same quality. This isn't going to work because it's cheap and watered down.
CP: Seriously? That has got to be the weirdest theory I have ever heard.
PSICO: It's true.
CP: No. No it's not. It's not even close. It's like comparing Taco Kits with Tampons; Skateboards with String Cheese; Star Wars with Gone With The Wind.
PSICO: Well I'll try it but it's not going to work.
CP: Positive thinking may. If you think it won't work, it won't. If you think generic Ragu sucks, it does.

1 comment:

  1. I think PSICO is thinking about street drugs with watering down and quality issues.
    Ragu? Really?