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Friday, August 16, 2013

Just Say Yuck

There is no amount of training one can do to prepare a new hire for what he or she will experience during the real daily grind of dealing with patients. Conversation overheard by one of my newbies:

Innocent Newbie: Thank you for calling. How may I help you?
Funky Taco: I was calling to see if my prescription was there?
IN: We just received the e-script. It should be ready in about 35 minutes.
FT: Can't it be any faster? I really need it.
IN: I'm sorry. Our wait time in the store is currently 25-30 minutes. We will put yours behind those in line, but 35 minutes will get it done.
FT: I can't wait that long! It's itching so bad. I'm crawling on the carpet like a baby and I can see it on the stairs behind me.

<awkward silence follows>

FT: I guess you didn't find that funny, huh?
IN: Um.
FT: Well it's your fault I'm in this much misery. You just fill it and I'll be down to get it. You better hope you don't have to go through anything like this.
IN: Um.


IN: <to CP> Some lady just described her yeast infection to me. She told me she was crawling around on the carpet and I just pictured a little cat scooting its butt down the stairs. Then she got an attitude with me because I didn't find it funny. How do you respond to that comment?
CP: First, that's just gross. Second, you politely say "thank you for that haunting visual. As I now have to bleach my brain, your prescription will take 45 minutes to finish. Oh, and make sure you wear clean underwear."
IN: <Puzzled Look>
CP: Sorry. Guess you don't yet know with whom you work. It's been a while since I've had a detailed description of Twat Rot quite like this one. Honestly, since this is retail pharmacy, you simply pretend you're a penguin from Madagascar: Just smile and wave. Just smile and wave...

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